Ball Boy Faults on His Way to Bathroom

In a memorable Seinfeld episode in which Kramer wishes to be a ball boy, Seinfeld admonishes him, “Perhaps you’ve overlooked one of the key aspects of this activity. It’s ball boys, not ball men.”↵↵True enough, but there’s one small drawback for relying on kids to retrieve the balls: adults are less likely to relieve themselves on the court. Heck, even dogs might be. Little anklebiters? No.↵

↵↵Which is exactly what happened on Tuesday at the Australian Open when a first-round match between Donald Young and Christophe Rochus was delayed for 40 minutes after a ball boy had an accident on the court.↵

↵↵⇥But just as Young had broken serve in the fourth set and started to take control of the match, there was an inexplicable delay.↵⇥↵⇥Young explained: “A ballboy started peeing on himself. So that was really unfortunate.”↵⇥

↵⇥↵⇥You mean that metaphorically, right?↵⇥

↵⇥↵⇥“I looked back and it was dripping on the court,” Young said. “He ran off. And when he ran off ...”↵⇥

↵⇥↵⇥It left a trail on the court. Well, you can’t just keep playing a major tennis tournament with urine on the court.↵⇥

↵↵↵Oh, sure you can. Why, some of the greats played their best on urine. These namby-pamby players these days just don’t know how to rough it through the elements. I kid, of course, but perhaps we need to improve the bladder control of our ball boys a smidgen.↵

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