Brace Yourselves For The Terry Bradshaw Smiletime Variety Hour

USA Today’s Michael Hiestand got in touch with Terry Bradshaw to gauge his thoughts on whether this season will finally, mercifully be Brett Favre’s last in the NFL. Bradshaw responded that Favre would retire if he won the Super Bowl, but would back for the 2010 season if he fell short either Sunday or two weeks hence.↵↵Then things got wacky. People sometimes forget that a football player’s career life, even an older one such as Favre, ends early in the scope of their actual life. While many might consider decade after decade of unbroken relaxation a pleasant way to run the clock out, others just aren’t wired like that. They need goals and ambitions to keep them moving. Such is Terry Bradshaw.↵

↵↵Even if the goal in question happens to be an elaborate Vegas musical comedy act.↵

↵↵⇥Bradshaw himself says “at 61, I need new challenges.”↵⇥↵⇥So, here’s his latest: starring in Las Vegas in his own “stand-up comedy act, with singing and a chorus, that’s based on my speeches.”↵⇥

↵⇥↵⇥Huh? No really, he insists, saying writers have worked on the idea for two years, rehearsals start this spring and — the show biz gods willing — it will open with a month in Vegas in August and go on to casinos and “big venues.” ↵⇥

↵⇥↵⇥He sounds game: “This could be big. I might have to get toupees, liposuction.”↵⇥

↵↵↵It could be something. That’s for sure. I don’t know if big is the descriptor I would use.↵

↵↵A train wreck of this magnitude is too tantalizing to pass up. I beg off you, showbiz gods, to make this happen. The singing, hoofing comedy stylings of a toupeed and tummy tucked Terry Bradshaw is just the thing to soothe a troubled world.↵

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