SB Nation Trading Cards: No. 8-14, In Which We Have Fun At Brett Favre’s Expense!

You were having trouble hanging a picture on your living room wall, so you called Nate and asked him to help you. He tilted the frame to the left. "Nate Kaeding, it's tilted too far to the left," you said. Nate nodded, then turned the painting a full 90 degrees to the right. "Nate Kaeding," you said, "now the picture is tilted to the right." Again he nodded, and set to work again. "But Nate Kaeding," you said, "now the painting is hung on the wall backwards." Nate then fished an egg out of his pocket and slowly broke it against the wall. It was at this point that you said, "thank you, Nate Kaeding, but I will find someone else to help me."

College hoops fans love to rush to the floor following a game. This tradition, though, should be used tastefully. You should only "storm the court" if:

- Your team won (or your team lost but you are in the other team's arena)

-Your home has been destroyed by a natural disaster and local authorities have directed you to stay here for the night

- The walk-on who lives in the dorm next door just converted at least one of two free throw opportunities

- You just remembered how awesome the "Send it in, Jerome!" thing was

- You really want to stand in a crowd, get jostled a little, and grin, but you don't have Coldplay tickets

Despite the fact that Andre's knees were filled with gravel instead of cartilage, he was able to put together a Hall of Fame career. The powers that be decided that he will wear a Montreal Expos cap on his plaque. Upon learning this, the resident plaque engraver kicked his chair away from his desk and threw up his hands. "How I'm gonna even draw that? How you expect me to draw that? What the **** is that logo? It ain't even a thing! **** looks like ****in' toothpaste. Like he plays for AquaFresh or some ****. That ain't a team. Stop playin'. That ain't a team." It has since been announced that due to technical issues, Andre will wear either a hat that says "BALL TEAM #1" or a rusty bucket.

Paul was born on the San Francisco peninsula, where severe earthquakes occur on a regular basis. When Haitians suffered their first severe earthquake in over 250 years, Paul took them to task on the internet, effectively scolding them for bearing children a few years before an earthquake. ESPN promptly fired Paul, who is now presumably unemployed and hence no longer self-sufficient. He will probably go back to living with his parents, who -- again, this should be stressed -- chose to raise Paul in an earthquake-prone area. Best of luck, sir! Remember, every man is an island!

It has become apparent that Pierre has a very real chance of becoming a household name. The problem is, if you run Windows, you have to use the number pad to type the "ç" in his name (ALT+135), which you might not have. So, as a public service, here you go: ç. Feel free to copy and paste this whenever you need to type his name. You will probably be coming back here a lot, so here are some other pieces of reference you're always having to look up: there are 5,280 feet in a mile, the loud guy from "Problem Child" was played by Gilbert Gottfried, and yes, your bank account is over-drafted.