Ryan Miller’s Olympic Mask Is Truly Olympian

↵↵Just look at this thing. I mean… dang, man. A Mark McGwire version of Uncle Sam has crazy wrestler hair, the tattoos of a sailor, and what’s either a flaming torch or the remnants of the last cyborg terminator to be triflin’ in his general vicinity. He is rolling up a sleeve to get his torch/cyborg remnant hand better prepared to whoop some Belarussian tuckus. Also there are stars. There’s a strong possibility that anyone approaching the United States net from the wrong angle will melt away into ash. ↵

↵↵Unsurprisingly, other countries are trying to get on the bandwagon here. The artist in question is a Port Huron, Michigan, guy named Ray Bishop. In combination with a local mask shop, Bishop is also doing masks for Russian goalie Evgeni Nabokov and the Czechs’ Tomas Voukoun, which I’m sure will be cool but significantly less likely to cause opposing skaters to huddle in the corner for protection. Save the awesome for the USA.↵

↵↵There’s just one drawback: ↵

↵↵⇥↵⇥He also is working on the mask for Czech Republic goaltender Tomas Vokoun and a custom guitar for the band Nickelback, which is performing at the closing ceremonies.↵⇥

↵↵↵Do not let this thing come anywhere near the mask of doom, lest the suck infect the awesome. The resulting antimatter explosion would create one really Great Lake and kill your humble blogger, along with most of the USA’s ice dancing contingent, in the process. ↵

↵↵Editor’s note: Big thanks to the Times Herald for allowing us to run this photo.↵

↵↵For the latest hockey news and insight, visit SN’s NHL blog The Grinder.↵

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