General

The Big Ten’s Death Has Been Greatly Exaggerated

Jan 6, 2010, 10:05 PM UTC

â†µAfter the Orange Bowl, FOX’s Chris Myers provided a fittingâ†µdenouement to FOX’s consistently condescending coverage of collegeâ†µfootball by asking Iowa quarterback Ricky Stanzi what this meant for allâ†µthe fat, technically non-Canadian people in the middle of the country.â†µAs you’ve no doubt seen by now, Stanzi owned the moment.â†µ

â†µâ†µStanzi now takes his place amongst the pantheon of Real American Bigâ†µTen Heroes next to Red Grange, Tom Harmon and J Leman. â†µ

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â†µâ†µThat brief exchange was a microcosm for the Big Ten bowl season, inâ†µwhich the much-maligned conference took down two conference championsâ†µand four top 15 teams en route to a -- gasp! -- winning record for the firstâ†µtime since 2002. You may be a slick-haired goof from someplace warm orâ†µrich or both, Chris Myers, but you have no idea what to do when youâ†µfind yourself between some Faygo Redpop and a charging herd of rhinosâ†µwho are technically not from Canada. Except die.â†µ

â†µâ†µWhile 4-3 might not seem world beating, the close scores obscuredâ†µshocking domination on a down-to-down basis:â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥Wisconsin outgained Miami 430-249 and held the ball for almost 40â†µâ‡¥minutes.
â†µâ‡¥Penn State held LSU to nine first downs and outgained them 340-243.â†µâ‡¥they also held the ball for nearly 40 minutes.
â†µâ‡¥Ohio State outgained Oregon 419-260, more than doubled the Ducks inâ†µâ‡¥first downs, and held the ball for over 40 minutes.
â†µâ‡¥Iowa outgained Georgia Tech 403-155 and also more than doubled GT’sâ†µâ‡¥first downs.

â†µâ†µâ†µThe only fluke in the Big Ten’s bowl season is that they didn’tâ†µblow out those four top 15 opponents. The four winnersâ†µobliterated the opposition.â†µ

â†µâ†µEven the losses weren’t particularly embarrassing. Minnesota lost toâ†µIowa State by a point and played them essentially dead even inâ†µyardage. Northwestern outgained Auburn by 200 yards (!) but lost inâ†µovertime because of six turnovers (to Auburn’s four; it was the season’sâ†µcraziest game) and their kicker’s inability to hit two chip shot fieldâ†µgoals down the stretch. And Michigan State led Texas Tech in the fourthâ†µquarter despite missing 15 players due to a team-organized, inexplicableâ†µassault on mechanical engineers. The Spartans would eventually lose byâ†µ10 and get outgained considerably. â†µ

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â†µThe final score is four dominating performances against excellentâ†µteams, a couple coin flips that went the wrong way, and one poorâ†µperformance by a team missing 20% of its roster. The Big Ten has earnedâ†µan offseason reprieve from the shallow end-of-the-Midwest column.â†µRemember this gem from the aftermath of the Ohio State-Iowa game?â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥The only less impressive “winner” than Ohio State onâ†µâ‡¥Saturday was the Big Ten, which is worse than anyone thought -- and mostâ†µâ‡¥of us thought it was pretty bad -- if this squeamish, gutless bunch ofâ†µâ‡¥Buckeyes is the best the conference has to offer. Maybe next year theâ†µâ‡¥Rose Bowl should court the champion from the MAC. Or the best team inâ†µâ‡¥Division I-AA. Anyone but the Big Ten, if this is what Big Ten footballâ†µâ‡¥is all about.â†µâ‡¥
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â†µâ‡¥Suggestion for the Big Ten banner: a white flag.â†µâ†µâ†µFor the record, that’s Gregg Doyel. But take away 50% of the vitriolâ†µand that’s a sentiment expressed thousands of times by people of Doyel’sâ†µilk since Ohio State’s televised disemboweling at the hands of Floridaâ†µthree years ago. Ohio State’s back to back craters and USC’s tendency toâ†µblow a game against a mediocre Pac-10 team set the conference up for aâ†µlong run of poor bowl performances and goofballs chanting “ESS EEEâ†µCEE” when their midlevel team doesn’t get hammered by, say, UConn.â†µIt got so bad that when the Big Ten announced it was looking to expandâ†µand I was trawling Pitt and Syracuse and Rutgers blogs for their takesâ†µon potential expansion virtually everyone was complaining about having to watch Big Ten football. Syracuse! Rutgers!â†µAigh!â†µ

â†µâ†µSince the last thing that happened is the thing that will alwaysâ†µhappen forever, everyone is required to leave us in peace until nextâ†µyear. â†µ

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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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