Paul the Octopus, the psychic octopus who correctly predicted the outcome of all seven matches Germany played as well as the World Cup final itself, died sometime last night in his tank in Oberhausen, Germany at the age of two and a half. You’re supposed to type allegedly there, but on this day of mourning skepticism can go piss up a rope. Paul was psychic, as well as a lot of other things: muse, inspiration, genius, devourer of small fish and lesser mollusks.
Paul The Octopus Dies At The Age of Two and A Half
Yes, he did pick a winner when he picked his dinner, something you'll never be able to say with the amazing consistency he could. Paul enjoyed ripping live feed apart with his tentacles, changing color, squirting ink, and the novels of W.G. Sebald. He is survived by 9 of his hatchling siblings, who do not request any memorials because octopi are very private souls, and because they do not use money, flowers, or understand the concept of currency. Our visual memorial follows after the jump.
Burial plans may include a small shrine, which should be a bronze statue of an octopus eating a soccer ball. For now the world needs a moment of silence, an opportunity to mourn, and a chance to appreciate the brief halcyon days of the summer of 2010 when the whole world felt the loving embrace of eight loving and soccer-mad arms around us.
R.I.P., PAUL THE OCTOPUS.
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