Andy Van Slyke had a great career, most of which he spent with the Cardinals and Pirates. Today, he is of greatest significance when you hold an “obscure baseball player naming contest.” If your opponent’s opening salvo is Andy Van Slyke, you know you are probably up against someone who never really watched baseball. In other words, he’s the most obscure baseball player to people who were never baseball fans.
Andy Van Slyke Wants To Manage The Pirates
Anyway, as SB Nation Pittsburgh notes, Van Slyke seems interested in managing the Pittsburgh Pirates, though the Pirates aren’t confirming talks in any official capacity. Some might wonder whether Van Slyke, who has never managed, is qualified, but I’m pretty sure that the required credentials are similar to the credentials you need to operate the trash compactor in the back room at Target.
If Van Slyke were to manage the Pirates, it would carry massive implications for at least one blog.
With Where Have You Gone, Andy Van Slyke?, an excellent Pirates blog, the problem is pretty obvious. Pat Lackey might have to change it to, He’s Right There, He’s In The Dugout. If he ends up being a terrible manager, it might be, Why Don’t You Go, Andy Van Slyke?
Or, hell, maybe the name could remain the same. Its meaning would just be more abstract. Regardless, for the sake of Pirates blogs such as WHYGAVS and Bucs Dugout (sportswriting rule: bad teams make good writers), I hope the team does what it must to turn things around. Losing season streaks, mathematically speaking, cannot last forever, even if Zach Duke were to remain in your rotation for 45 years.
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