England’s second tier = MLS quality; let’s not pretend otherwise

The managers, movers, shakers and deciders in Major League Soccer and in the U.S. Soccer establishment simply have to break free of their schoolboy crush on all things UK.

For whatever reason, we automatically assign a greater value to any soccer export from the British Isles than we would for a similar asset from elsewhere.

Yes, the British Isles have a wonderful history in the sport. And, yes, good fellows from England, Ireland, Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales have added to our understanding of the game through the 70s, 80s and 90s through coaching and enthusiastic interest and such. (I know Ireland isn’t a member of the UK … don’t get sidetracked here.)

But here is yet another example of where our infatuation can be destructive:

It seems that Toronto is close to singing Paul Dickov, who once flirted with joining TFC but opted for additional time in the Championship, England’s second tier.

Let’s briefly review the facts: He’s 37. He scored a grand total of two goals in 16 matches this year before being released by Derby. There were some injury issues wrapped into it all, but that’s part and parcel when players are in their late 30s, so let’s not pretend like that’s some anomaly that’s unlikely to recur.

That’s really about all you need to know about Dickov. That’s about all I know. This guy may be a Saint for all I know. He may be funnier that Jon Stewart, tell better stories than The Most Interesting Man in the World, woo the women like Johnny Depp and be a better leader of men than Winston Freakin’ Churchill himself.

But if he can’t score more than twice in the Championship, why is Toronto even looking at him? I highly doubt Dickov is willing to sign for league minimum.

But Toronto general manager Mo Johnston is seriously tied into his Scottish and English league past, so there is Dickov, now training with TFC down in Florida.

Here’s the thing: I’ve seen games in the Championship. I’ve seen the quality, and it’s not any better than MLS. It’s about the same. There. I said it. Let the outrage commence.

There is a history of second-tied players from England, or from lesser sides elsewhere in the UK, arriving in theUnited States amid much pomp, circumstance and curiously high expectations.

Anyone remember Dr. Goals?

That was Kenny Deuchar, who arrived at RSL in 2008. In four previous seasons with Gretna in Scotland’s lower tiers, Deuchar scored 72 goals in 95 matches. He arrived at RSL as, ostensibly, the answer for a club that needed a big striker.

Hmmm. After 29 matches in RSL and just three goals, he clearly wasn’t the answer. Lesson learned, presumably.

We currently have Danny Allsopp, who just arrived at D.C. United amid significant expectations. The Aussie striker’s last run in England came at Hull City, where he was marginally productive, with 22 goals in 64 appearances between 2003-2005. OK. Fair enough.

Of course, that was in England’s third and second tiers. And that’s not MLS quality, no matter what some Euro-snob will tell you. (These are some of the same people who insist that MLS is roughly equal to England’s “pub team” quality. These people are ninnies.) In his last pro stop, Allsopp scored six goals in 12 appearances – in Qatar.

He’s also 32. Could he be an adequate second or third striker at RFK? Perhaps. But I get the feeling that Curt Onalfo and United’s management is looking for him to be more. And he could be – but I have my doubts.

Of course, it can go right with fellows from the Championship. Darren Huckerby arrived at San Jose in 2008 and may have been the best attacker in MLS over the back half of the season. Terry Cooke arrived at Colorado in 2005 and established himself as a productive assist man. But he was 29 at the time, in the prime of his career. And he was clearly a role player, not someone being counted upon to lead a march to glory.

All I’m saying is this: let’s not pretend that guys from lower UK tiers will coming marching into MLS and make us all believe he’s the next coming of Ronaldo in his prime.