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Tyrik Rollison’s Twitter Novel Ends Poorly

Feb 25, 2010, 10:00 PM UTC

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â†µIt’s not exactly news that Facebook and other social networking toolsâ†µare fantastic for bloggers, terrible for coaches, and theâ†µApocalypse for compliance officers, but few players in recent memory have soâ†µamply demonstrated the weird new world we find ourselves in as well as Sam Houston State quarterback Tyrik Rollison. â†µ

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â†µâ†µRollison, a hyped recruit with an odd paucity of offers, announcedâ†µhis commitment on the Facebook. Recruits do this from time to time. Butâ†µthe War Eagle Reader documentsâ†µthe steady stream of Rollison status updates (and obliterates allâ†µcomers in the Rollison-transfer-headline war: “Alas poor Tyrik - weâ†µhardly SuperPoked ye”) that read like the Twitter version of anâ†µepistolary novel that ends with the hero eaten by a supernatural creature. â†µ

â†µâ†µIt starts with sunshine and lollipops:â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥â†µâ‡¥April 1, 2009 - “Tyrik Rollison: is GOING TOO be upâ†µâ‡¥at AUBURN this SUMMER. I Will play this Fall!!!â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥â†µâ‡¥April 7, 2009 - “Tyrik Rollison: is ready to startâ†µâ‡¥for Auburn.”â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥â†µâ‡¥April 23, 2009 - “Tyrik Rollison: is goin’ firstâ†µâ‡¥overall in 2013. You best believe that lol.”â†µâ‡¥

â†µâ†µâ†µThen we get a little rising action:â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥â†µâ‡¥July 2009 - Rollison â†µâ‡¥repeatedlyâ†µâ‡¥pleads with Auburn fans to “do something about it” - it being theâ†µâ‡¥phenomenon of fake Tyrik Rollison Facebook profiles.â†µâ‡¥

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â†µA quick uptick in tension after Rollison was suspendedâ†µfrom the bowl trip!â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥â†µâ‡¥December 3, 2009 - “Tyrik Rollison: To the Auburnâ†µâ‡¥faithful, I’m sorry. I will get this issue corrected. I want all yall toâ†µâ‡¥know I expect more of myself and things will turn around. WARâ†µâ‡¥EAGLE!!!”â†µâ‡¥

â†µâ†µâ†µThe climax!â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥â†µâ‡¥February 11, 2010 - “Tyrik Rollison: QUIT TELLING MEâ†µâ‡¥TO TRANSFER SCHOOLS!...I’M WITH AUBURN AND THATS THE END OFâ†µâ‡¥IT!”â†µâ‡¥

â†µâ†µâ†µSomething horrible leaps from the bushes and the novel endsâ†µ“aaaarrrghh”!â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥â†µâ‡¥February 23, 2010 - “Tyrik Rollison: I’M DONE... Iâ†µâ‡¥NEED A FRESH START.”â†µâ‡¥

â†µâ†µâ†µAnd then silence.â†µ

â†µâ†µThe transfer is just the denouement of a story already told in littleâ†µbursts of caps and weird guerrilla social networking warfare. The moral,â†µas always, is that football coaches should incinerate any piece ofâ†µelectronics more sophisticated than an XBox that their recruits and players get theirâ†µhands on. Rollison’s specific case is a sad little piece of Internetâ†µkabuki that starts with a fresh-faced kid arriving in a world thatâ†µactually cares about him and ends on skid row. No offense, Sam Houstonâ†µState.â†µ

â†µâ†µObviously, this is not a major tragedy. Auburn will be fine-have theyâ†µtoldâ†µyou about Cam Newton yet?-and Rollison won’t have fake versions ofâ†µhimself on Facebook unless his roommate is playing a prank. Some kidsâ†µare better off anonymous, I guess.â†µ

â†µâ†µ(Image via TyrikRollison.org)â†µ

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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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