Deciphering John Calipari

So here’s a segment of a tweet from Kentucky coach John Calipari:

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↵I’m not exactly sure what he’s trying to say here, but I’ve narrowed the possibilities down to three.

↵1) John Calipari believes that the East is the toughest region of this year’s tournament. Kentucky has laid waste to every team it’s faced so far, and they didn’t have to play in a Midwest region, for example, that featured Evan Turner, the deceptively good Northern Iowa, and Tom Izzo. Does not compute.

↵2) John Calipari believes that the 2010 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament as a whole is the toughest of all the 2010 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournaments. He slipped on a banana peel and fell through a rip in the space-time continuum, where he scouted the bizarro-universe tournament and concluded that the Eastasia region, where Bizarro Kentucky was seeded, faced a relatively weak schedule. North Oceania Conclave Seminary as a 2-seed? Really?

↵3) In a logistical mix-up, John Calipari accidentally wrote this on Twitter; he actually intended to write this pick-me-up note on napkins and lovingly pack them into his players’ lunchboxes. Right now, John Wall is digging through his lunch, which includes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (no crust!) and a baggie of raisins, and finds a napkin with the message, “On way to arena. Mountaineers pose tough challenge. Ready 4 game.” There’s a smiley face drawn below it. He stares at it quizzingly for a moment, then digs into his raisins.