Tiger Woods’ PR Plan Is Simple: Just Win Tournaments

There’s an old saying in sports that winning cures all. Whether it be a dispute between teammates and coaches, frustration over minutes, outrage over contracts and so forth, there’s no problem that a few W’s can’t make disappear.

Fortunately or unfortunately (depending on your perspective), winning seems to cure all for athletes who get into trouble outside of their sports, as well.

In 2000, Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis was indicted on murder charges. But after pleading guilty to obstruction of justice and winning a Super Bowl MVP Award, all Lewis really lost were a few dollars and an endorsement by Disney World.

In 2003, Los Angeles Lakers super star Kobe Bryant was accused of raping a female hotel employee near Vail, Colorado. He was acquitted of those charges, but openly admitted to adultery. After three NBA Finals appearances since, one MVP and one championship ring, Kobe now gets to appear with puppets on “Sesame Street” and has himself become a cute, cuddly puppet thanks to a series of hilarious Nike commercials clearly aimed at a younger audience.

And there are countless other examples of athletes who get a pass from the public even after doing some not-so-kosher things outside their sports. Does anyone today actively think about Brett Favre’s vicodin addiction that sent him into rehab? Or Michael Jordan’s obsessive gambling problems that may or may not have led to his abrupt retirement in 1993? Or James Worthy getting busted in a prostitution sting operation while playing in Houston? Of course you don’t. Even Darryl Strawberry was able to make us forget about his off-the-field foibles (albeit briefly) while hoisting up a World Series trophy.

Why do these athletes seem to get a permanent pass from the fans in the moral turpitude category? Because rather than try to control their image with a calculated PR scheme, they got back onto the court, field or diamond and just started winning again.

And that’s all Tiger Woods has to do if he’s to regain his status as the most beloved and popular athlete in the world when he returns to professional golf next week at Augusta National Golf Club for the 2010 Master Tournament.

Presumably in hopes of rehabbing his tarnished (to some) image, Woods hired former George W. Bush Administration press secretary Ari Fleischer to assist with the requisite PR tour that’s to accompany Woods’ return to golf. I suppose it made sense that the pitchman for the least transparent and most secretive presidential administration in recent memory would be tasked with damage control for the least transparent and most secretive athlete in the world. But even though Fleischer has since ceased working with the Woods team, the hiring of Fleischer in the first place was a colossal mistake for two reasons.

Firstly, Fleischer has done a horrible job with disgraced baseball star Mark McGwire, whose admission of steroids use for recovery purposes only (clearly advised by Fleischer) is as laughable as they come. By lying about his lying – i.e. the Alex Rodriguez PR playbook – McGwire today looks more the untruthful than he already was.

And secondly, why pay the exorbitant fees charged by an overhyped PR man like Fleischer and his ilk when you can win back the hearts and minds of sports fans worldwide for free? Instead of a carefully choreographed PR tour, all Woods really needs is a “F-U” tour; which means racking up wins and the rest will take care of itself. In fact, I can’t wait for the day when Powerade ponies up millions for the right to represent Woods in the wake of Gatorade and a number of other sponsors dropping the acclaimed golfer.

To be clear, I’m not suggesting that winning should cure all or make us forget about off-the-field transgressions by the athletes who put others in harm’s way. Those of us who live in Colorado certainly don’t forget Kobe’s history in our state when the Lakers come to town (of course in Los Angeles, Kobe could have raped and shot someone and he’d still get a Roman Polanski-type free pass from Lakers fans).

But in Woods’ case, I believe a few tournament wins should erase the public humiliation he’s going through, because I’m still unclear as to what exactly he did wrong in the first place. While I won’t attempt to excuse Woods for lying to those closest to him, if cheating on your wife and sending some raunchy text messages constitutes a national emergency and subsequent public apology, then virtually everyone associated with sports from athletes to coaches to broadcasters to reporters (and yes, reporters, we know who you are) should be publicly castigated and flogged alongside Woods. I’ve worked in and around the sports business my whole adult life and trust me when I say this; just about no one is a saint in this industry.

When the Woods story broke and a number of old school sports columnists jumped on their collective high horses to berate and lecture the world’s most recognizable athlete, many served up the caveat of “even though he didn’t rape, murder or steal from anyone...” alongside the absurd “he still owes us an apology.” But to me, that’s the whole point: he didn’t rape, murder or steal from anyone! And therefore, you can count me in among those passionately rooting for Woods to start winning again. Because you know if he does, all this infidelity nonsense will go by the wayside and those same sneering columnists will go back to suck-up mode in Woods’ presence.

So as we enter what’s assured to be the most watched Masters tournament ever in two weeks, I sincerely hope Woods jettisons his self-concocted PR scheme in favor of the best PR no money can buy: just win, baby.