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Come Fan with UsSaturday, June 20, 2026

Alabama Couple Names Their Child “Crimson Tide.” Note: Not A Family Name.

It is a good test of the idiots in your life to tell them you’re having a baby. If they’re an idiot, they’ll say, “Name the baby after me!” no matter if they’re named Merle, Phelon (“It’s pronounced ’Fay-lahn!”), Jackturd, or whatever other horrible name they’ve been saddled with for life.

↵That’s annoying if you’re looking for baby names, but at least you know that didn’t happen here. A couple in Alabama named their child what no one person is named: “Crimson Tide Redd.” Hmm, wonder if that was the guy’s idea or the girl’s

↵↵“His family was extremely excited (about the name choice)…”

↵↵We have a special piece of weaponry to show you: the Divorce Bomb. Timer: set for three to five years. Power: unlimited. Aftereffects: diminished credit, and a child who hates you for something more than just naming them after a football team.

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