General

Half Of Kansas State’s Team Is Not At All Good At Football

Apr 26, 2010, 9:00 PM UTC

â†µAnother round of spring games were played this weekend, yielding few actual insights other than “Penn State is in trouble at quarterback“ and ”Ron Zook is so fired.” This is always the way of it in spring. You either get complicated offense-vs-defense scoring systems that reveal nothing or split-squad games that reveal even less because the chaos of mixing units turns offensive lines into goo. All of it is done in the name of assembling your starters and your backups in such a way that produces a competitive game. â†µ

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â†µâ†µYou know what Kansas State head coach Bill Snyder says to that? Bollocks. If he’s proven anything during his long and distinguished career in Manhattan it’s that winning conference games is nice but he’s in it for the massively one-sided beatings. And if he has to recruit the school’s quiz bowl team to play second-string corner he’s willing to do that:â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥â†µâ‡¥Bill Snyder still has a few more months before he has to pick a starting quarterback for next season.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥â†µâ‡¥On Saturday, though, Carson Coffman did everything he could to speed the process along as he passed for 440 yards and seven touchdowns to lead the Purple team to a 79-0 victory over the White in the annual spring game at Bill Snyder Family Stadium.â†µâ‡¥

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â†µSweet fancy Moses. Probable starting quarterback Chase Coffman—appropriately from Peculiar, Mo.— went 38 of 51 and had five touchdowns in the first half as the Purple leapt out to a 38-0 halftime lead. Snyder then put up 41 on his second-stringers (at least I hope they were the second stringers). Coffman was re-inserted with two minutes left to chuck a seventh touchdown. Total yardage was 737 to 144. Mark Mangino has nothing on Snyder when it comes to psychological terrorism of his own players.â†µ

â†µâ†µNow prepare for an instant classic of newspapery understatement: â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥â†µâ‡¥Snyder was pleased with the production of his starters, both offensive and defensively, there is now some cause for concern with his second and third string units.â†µâ‡¥

â†µâ†µâ†µIndeed. Kansas State’s second-string secondary consists of a 5’6 “walkon”, Snyder himself, a confused goat attempting to eat the artificial turf, and the corpse of Vladimir Lenin. They are unlikely to put a dime package on the field this year. If a starter gets injured they won’t bother to replace him, and they will be correct to do this.â†µ

â†µâ†µ(H/T to EDSBS.)â†µ

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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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