Barry Zito Is Really Into Unicorns ... Or Something

↵↵I’m not even sure what to make of the audio in this link (MP3), other than to wonder whether Barry Zito is the one who should’ve been cited with marijuana possession instead of Tim Lincecum. If you can’t listen to the clip, here’s what Zito said to radio man Mychael Urban:↵

↵↵⇥Dude. Not good man. So I came down to the unicorn club to have some breakfast this morning, see a couple friends. I went downstairs to the stables, saw a couple unicorns down there. Went up to this one that was my favorite, you know the one I told you about, Powder, and I just started playing with his mane and braiding it and stuff and I don’t know what happened. The stable manager came in, started yelling at me, freaked out. Told me that he was quarantined because he had some kind of something and now I’m a threat to his health and now they’re just holding me down here. They told me I could make one call and I’m calling you. Luckily I memorized your number, which is rare these days. So dude, I don’t even know what’s going on. I don’t even know if I can get to the yard today. It’s brutal dude, so, I can’t make the show, but I might need you to try to come down here and help me because you’re the only guy who knows where this place is. And ... [expletive], dude ... I don’t know. Follow your instincts bro, if you don’t see me at noon, just come down. All right, see you.↵↵↵Before tackling the subject of Zito, it’s tough to hear a voicemail like that now and not think of Tiger’s infamous “Huge. Quickly. Bye.” voicemail, isn’t it?
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↵Anyway, Zito evidently has a long-held fascination with unicorns -- even doing radio appearances called “The Unicorn Hour.” When asked about why he loves unicorns so much at Giants FanFest, he stammered for a bit and then just said, “Who doesn’t like unicorns?” I guess you can’t argue with that sort of logic.↵

↵↵(H/T to Big League Stew)↵

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