FIFA world rankings: an exercise in silliness

Most reasonable people agree that FIFA rankings are pretty silly. Maybe the silliest thing since snuggle parties. Every bit as pointless as low carb beer. (Seriously, folks, just drink a damn beer if you want one.)

I mean, truly, what do global soccer rankings mean ? Rosters, player selection priorities and collective strength in the international game are so fluid that assigning an order is futile. And the rankings don’t really serve a purpose beyond, I suppose, a regular tool for news generation – as if global soccer needs the PR. This ain’t field hockey. People in every corner of our blessed world think about soccer every day.

Then again, rankings in most of our U.S. sports are exercises in goofiness, too. These things are like weekend Harley riders; they want so badly to be legit but they make the rest of us wince in pity. There may be nothing any inane than national high school football and basketball rankings. This notion that anyone can tell whether a football team in Virginia is better or worse than a football team in California is stupid.

You know what really puts a wasp up in my crawl space? College football rankings. These may be the most sinister of the breed because not only are they deeply flawed in methodology and execution, and not only do they protect the establishment teams, they actually mean something. Universities reap greater profit by climbing higher in the rankings.

OK, while I go make a selection from the ‘decaffeinated’ aisle, enjoy your new FIFA rankings. For whatever they mean to you.