Here’s how SB Nation recommends you operate your television set on Sunday, May 30. All times Eastern.
Your Television Loves You: What To Watch On Sunday, May 30
Baseball
1:30, WGN - White Sox at Rays.
2:15, TBS - Cardinals at Cubs.
8:00, ESPN2 - Rangers at Twins.
Racing
1:00, ABC - The Indy 500.
5:00, Fox - The Coca-Cola 600.
Tennis
12:00, NBC - Day 8 at the French Open.
Golf
3:00, CBS - Round 4 at the Crowne Plaza Invitational.
Basketball
Sorry, spud! No basketball today!
Why not
‘Cause Minneapolis beat the Sunshines last night. Read it in the paper this morning!
Basketball
Tell ya what, let’s build you a basketball stand.
Basketball goal
Yeah, basketball goal. Yer ol’ grandpa knows a thing or two about woodworkin’... let’s poke around in this dusty ol’ garage, see if maybe there’s somethin’ we can use for a backboard... gotta be able to bankshot it... that’s what Robert Parish used to do, but he don’t play anymore... used to bankshot all the time... look around in this dusty ol’ garage, hope there’s maybe somethin’ we can make a backboard out of...
No thanks, Grandpa
...here’s a bucket we might could use. Wonder if we still got a basketball; I bet this bucket’s big enough to hold a basketball. There we go, look at that! Hope we still got a basketball, might could have to use a baseball instead ‘till I go to the Wal-Mart later. They probably sell basketballs at the Wal-Mart.
It’s okay
Now lemme get out my paints... there we go. Can’t have a backboard without a paintin’ of a basketball on it!
Why
‘Cause it’s basketball!
The goal is four feet tall, Grandpa
Heh, take a look at that... that’s not a half-bad paintin’ of a basketball on the backboard. Wonder if I painted too many stripes on the basketball. How many stripes is a basketball s’posed to have? Oh well, might could go to the Wal-Mart later, pick up a basketball, see how many stripes it’s s’posed to have.
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