Here’s how SB Nation recommends you operate your television set on Saturday, June 12. All times Eastern.
Your Television Loves You: What To Watch On Saturday, June 12
World Cup
2:30, ABC - USA vs. England, Group C match.
MMA
9:00, pay-per-view - UFC 115. Liddell vs. Franklin.
Baseball
4:00, Fox - White Sox at Cubs, or Phillies at Red Sox.
NASCAR
8:00, ESPN - The Meijer 300 (Nationwide Series race).
Golf
3:00, CBS - Third round of the St. Jude Classic.
England
You kiddin’ your grandpa? Ain’t you never been to England? Beat us in three World Wars. Three!
World Wars
First one was the Civil War, we kinda lost that one. The King’s guards broke in an’ stole the trophy. Then there was the Crimean War. Huh, is that just two? Maybe just two.
Where is England
Big island! Separated from France by the English Channel!
English Channel
Y’know, the ah... the BBC! Ain’t you in school? Ain’t ya learn these things?
Summer
Summer? Why ain’t ya get a job?
Not old enough
Well I s’pose it’s a different time... wonder if the Kroger would hire ya. Might could stop by the Kroger today, see if they’re lookin’ for a shopkeep’s assistant. Might could go to the K-Mart too, see if they need a shelfstock. Kroger’s on the way to the K-Mart, s’pose we could stop by the Kroger first, see about a shopkeep job for ya, then maybe go to the K-Mart, see about if they need a shelfstock.... Crimean War? Was that the British? Might not be the British. Might could stop by the library first, see if they got any books about the Crimean War, set the record straight, then stop by the Kroger and the K-Mart, see if maybe they got a job for ya, if not as a shopkeep than maybe a shelfstock.
Soccer
I ain’t takin’ ya to the video arcade! Gonna go to the library, get ya a job! Learn about the Crimean War, find a job as a shopkeep! No time for video arcades!
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