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Come Fan with UsSaturday, June 20, 2026

Only In America: World Famous Ronaldo Confused With Fauxlebrity “The Situation”

It’s safe to assume that if you go to a posh New York City restaurant, you may come across a celebrity or two. Such an instance happened at Kenmare, a NoHo bar and eatery that, “evokes the feel of the Mediterranean coast with a Bohemian flair and organic curves reminiscent of Gaudi’s buildings. Its warm pink, hand-troweled stucco walls exude the feeling of a quaint local restaurant, while the richly veined marble and hand-carved bronze palm leafs in the screens add an element of approachable luxury.”↵↵By that description, you’d think this place is pretty darn swanky, which is why you’d likely see an upper-crust international like Cristiano Ronaldo grabbing a bite while in New York to pick up his new baby boy and bring him back to Spain.↵

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↵↵World Cup or not, soccer hasn’t exactly broken through in America just yet if one of the, perhaps, five most recognizable athletes in the world (could he be one of the two with David Beckham?) got confused for…The Situation. Only the New York Post could have this:↵

↵↵⇥Gelled hair? Check. Dark tan? Check. Abs of steel? Check. Easy to see how patrons at Kenmare mistook Portuguese soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo for a “Jersey Shore” castmate. As he walked into the dining room Wednesday, decked in a snug black shirt and pale slacks, one diner exclaimed, “Oh, my God, it’s The Situation!” -- referring to Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, the beefy reality star known for his toned midsection and aggressive pursuit of women.↵↵Easy to see? This makes me so depressed to think that the list of my state’s greatest exports now includes a topless club-hopper who is “easily” mistaken for one of the greatest athletes in the world. A New Jersey boy like Giusseppe Rossi? Fine, that makes sense. But Ronaldo?

Ronaldo

? Let’s see how much they actually look alike:↵

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The Abs:

Not gonna lie, Ronaldo’s got him beat. We made this guy famous for lifting up his shirt and his abs aren’t even as good as real athletes? Kill me now.
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The Hair:

Okay, fine, this is kinda confusing.
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The Pouty Lips:

Alright, alright...the resemblance is spooky. Wait a minute...
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↵So it’s clear: if Ronaldo really wants to get popular in America he should take his shirt off and star in a reality show. And maybe get punched in the face for good measure. Until then, his popularity will continue to be a developing situation.↵

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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