Derrick Rose Need Not Chase The Rainbow Very Far

One day, I hope you are able to achieve unfathomable success in a field of cultural import so that people will give you outrageous gifts simply because you enjoy their product.

Case in point, Wrigley, the owners of the Skittles brand, gave Derrick Rose his own personal fancy-dancey Skittles vending machine. For no other reason than that he's Derrick Rose. Okay, and because of the obvious publicity it would generate.

↵

Earlier this month, they brought a custom, tricked-out Skittles vending machine to his house and promised to keep it stocked with Skittles for at least three years.

↵

Not to look a gift vending machine in the mouth, but does it really have to dispense packaged amount of Skittles? Couldn't he have little tubes that issue forth his desired flavor. Some folks aren't very partial to the yellow ones. But that works for him. I'm just dropping subtle hints to Wrigley for when my career in lazy comedy hits the big time.