The USA Today Minor League Player of the Year award might be locked in a battle with the Baseball America Minor League Player of the Year award for top prospect accolade, but the USA Today Minor League Player of the Year award is the one that’s open to fan voting, thereby lending it greater validity. It seems this esteemed distinction at least in part lies in your very hands.
USA Today’s Minor League Player Of The Year Poll Asks Fans To Identify The Next Billy Ashley
With great power, however, comes great responsibility, and it is your duty to become informed of the various options prior to submitting your vote. For that reason, I have enclosed for your convenience an objective breakdown of the five candidates. Only after weighing all the pluses and minuses do I recommend you proceed to the poll.
Domonic Brown
Why You Should Vote For Him
Brown is a 22 year old outfielder who has put up a .980 OPS between AA and AAA, flashing contact, power, and speed. He managed to get a cup of coffee with the Phillies and is without question the top outfield prospect in baseball.
Why You Shouldn’t Vote For Him
The last time this award went to a guy with a conventional name with unconventional spelling, Andruw Jones let it go to his head and weighed 400 pounds by the time he turned 30.
Freddie Freeman
Why You Should Vote For Him
Freeman is a 20 year old first baseman who’s put up a .375 OBP and an .878 OPS in his first exposure to AAA. To have so much success at such a young age against older competition is extraordinary.
Why You Shouldn’t Vote For Him
Surname could be interpreted as bragging.
Jeremy Hellickson
Why You Should Vote For Him
Hellickson is a 23 year old starting pitcher who has dominated in AAA and, for three starts, dominated in the bigs. Against the two highest levels in the world, Hellickson has struck out 148 batters and walked 39 in 144 innings.
Why You Shouldn’t Vote For Him
For one thing, it’s unclear whether big league success should matter when voting for the Minor League Player of the Year. For another thing, the Rays are getting too popular. If the Rays keep drawing praise for everything they do and all the prospects they have in the system, they’re gonna let it get to their heads and they’ll weigh 400 pounds by the time they turn 30.
Mike Moustakas
Why You Should Vote For Him
Moustakas is a 21 year old third baseman who’s posted a .973 OPS between AA and AAA. Though he’s had some struggles against AAA competition, with AA Northwest Arkansas he slugged .687. His name sounds like the Greek word for ‘mustache’.
Why You Shouldn’t Vote For Him
Every team in baseball belongs to one of three groups: Teams We Don’t Joke About, Teams We Don’t Care About, and Teams We Joke About. The last thing we need is to start empowering the Royals. It would throw into chaos a long-standing establishment.
Michael Pineda
Why You Should Vote For Him
Pineda is a 21 year old starting pitcher with 149 strikeouts and 33 walks over 135.2 innings between AA and AAA. He has overpowered the opposition and rocketed to the top of any and every reputable prospect list.
Why You Shouldn’t Vote For Him
Pineda is the only foreign-born player of the five, and he stands at 6’7 220. Voting for Pineda would only encourage other countries to send more of their giants to America, emasculating the dwarfish indigenous public and stealing its women.
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Armed with this knowledge, you are now free to place your vote with discretion and care. And remember: a vote for Pineda is a vote for dangerous, skyscraping aliens.
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