In what has to be a contender for "Most Ironic Story of the Year", four people have been arrested on charges of concealing their use of performance-enhancing drugs, including steroids and human growth hormones. But this time, it's not any professional sportsmen who are the culprits. It's three FBI special agents, including a husband and wife couple, and one intelligence analyst for the government agency.
FBI Employees Arrested For Lying About Steroid Use
Said FBI Deputy Director Timothy Murphy, "FBI employees must be held to the highest standards of ethical conduct. When this information came to our attention, a thorough investigation was initiated which led to today's charges... The investigation is continuing, and the FBI will continue to fully cooperate with the Department of Justice, Office of the Inspector General, and the Office of Personnel Management."
Funny, you could replace about four words of Murphy's quote, and you'd have a press release, straight from Bud Selig's office...
The Reuters report indicates that three of those accused got their drugs from the same, unidentified doctor. He had diagnosed over three hundred people with "pituitary dwarfism and panhypopituitarism" [which Wikipedia informs me is another pituitary condition] and according to the affidavits, had written over 5,200 steroids prescriptions from September 2005-January 2010. That's about a hundred per month, if my math is correct.
But I do have to wonder, why would FBI agents need to take steroids? One of them was a former body-builder, so I can see how he might have been interested, but an intelligence analyst in the FBI's counterterrorism division? I imagine particularly-buff federal agents, striking fear into scrawny Al Qaeda operatives. And one final irony: just like Roger Clemens, it wasn't the steroid use that was the problem, but that they lied about it. Federal agents undergo regular stringent medicals, and it was the four's failure to divulge their prescriptions that brought them down...
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