LSU (Barely) Holds Off Depleted UNC, 30-24

LSU-UNC, by the numbers with two quarters down and two remaining:

• 150 LSU punt return yards

• 18 UNC rushing attempts

• 12 UNC rushing yards

• 5 Total fumbles

• 2 of 9 UNC third-down conversions

• 3 of 3 Red-zone scores

We’ve all had ample opportunity tonight to witness what this LSU team does with breaks that go its way. We’re now fairly certain the game is breaking open right about now because of UNC’s inability to do the same (although in a day that saw Ole Miss blow a 31-10 lead to Jacksonville State and lose in double overtime, nothing is ever as out of reach as it seems).

UNC recovered an LSU fumble. Their capitalization: A two-yard rush, a sack, a three-yard loss rush, and a punt ... that Patrick Peterson returned for an 86-yard touchdown. LSU 23, UNC 10; four minutes remain in the half.

[UPDATE: In the time it took me to type the two short paragraphs above, the Tar Heels went three-and-out and LSU’s Rueben Randle caught a 51-yard touchdown pass on the very next play. Talent differential can’t be forgotten, either.)

Well, well, we got ourselves the makin’s! Things Are Happening! But they’re ACC things, which means a pass for a 75-yard gain from Yates to Jheranie Boyd is followed by a two-yard rush and two incomplete passes and a field goal for a 10-7 UNC lead.

Les Miles is quick with the 20-sided Die Of Occasional Offensive Prowess, however, and the ensuing kickoff is returned by the Tigers for 45 yards. Six seconds later, Russell Shephard scores a 50-yard rushing touchdown. Tigers lead 14-10 with just over eight minutes remaining in the half, and have stopped UNC’s kickoff return inside the Tar Heel’s five-yard line.

And this is about where things fall apart for North Carolina, again -- the ball goes out of the end zone for a safety. LSU leads, 16-10.

After an action-free remainder of a first quarter, the highlight of which was a ceremonious sacking of T.J. Yates for a nine-yard UNC loss on third down, the start of the second quarter sees all our lowballed offensive estimates completely outstripped. (To be fair, this is because we expected neither team to score a touchdown.) Yates threw a nine-yard touchdown pass to Devon Ramsay, and the Tigers and Tar Heels are tied at 7-all with 13:49 remaining in the second quarter.

Hot topic in the press box: UNC has a kid returning kicks named Hunter Furr. Why is this young man not playing for LSU?

The second UNC fumble of the game seemed to take for the Tigers, and Jordan Jefferson connected with Russell Shepard for a six-yard touchdown pass down the middle. Tigers lead Tar Heels 7-0 with 8:57 remaining in the first quarter.

I have a sinking feeling I know what the rest of this game is going to look like based on what we’ve seen so far in just over two minutes of play in the Chick-fil-A Classic: A UNC fumble on the second play of the game by Johnny White (remember him?), a missed LSU field goal, and UNC fumbling right back on the ensuing possession. Already rowdy, Tiger fans are jumping up below us to peek into the press box. “HEY! MEDIA! HEY MEDIA YOU SEE THAT?”

UNC, you’ll recall, is currently in the throes of two different football program investigations -- one academic and one concerning improper agent contact. Between those two scandals, the Tar Heels will be down thirteen players for tonight’s season opener against LSU, many of them starters. Linebackers Quan Sturdivant and Bruce Carter have been cleared; safety Deunta Williams has been added to the roster of those riding pine.

Two absent will be tailbacks Shaun Draughn and Ryan Houston; SB Nation’s Carolina March introduces offensive heir apparent Johnny White: