Talking Golf Club has a remarkably thorough and informed read on Blaine Gabbert. Imagine that.
2011 NFL Draft Choose Your Own Adventure: Page 64; You’re Interested In Blaine Gabbert
You have decided to look into a BLAINE GABBERT. You realize that he is the most beautiful man in this draft, and admit this to yourself without shame, because really, just look at the man. He’s a Swedish underwear model moonlighting as a football player.
There are no effects on that photo. You are merely imagining hearts and lightning and sparkles, but everyone does.
PHYSICAL CONCERNS: None from the size/arm/legs angle. He is tall, mobile, and while not possessing the firepower of a Newton or a Mallett , he certainly has a strong arm and the quick delivery to utilize it in live fire situations. The refrain from the scouting community is unanimous: he has the footwork of an angel, drops the deep ball in on a string, wings a deep out into the sideline with authority, and makes his reads with tempo and authority.
You should see him eat an eleven course formal dinner. His etiquette is breathtaking, and his passing of dishes done with an elegance that would make Emily Post weep. He wrote a thank you card to Superman once, and his penmanship and consideration made the unthinkable real. He is perfect, and scouts will hear no different.
MENTAL CONCERNS: He played in the spread, and not often from under center. May be too busy thinking about good flossing technique or being pretty to succeed immediately in the NFL.
STUPID CONCERNS: He played in the spread, and not often from under center. Too beautiful to relate to his teammates.
WHO HE SHOULD REMIND YOU OF, ACCORDING TO TALKING GOLF CLUB:
His on-field smarts remind me of a young Tom Brady, but his radiant masculine perfection can only be summed up with the word “Adonis-esque.” Will be a successful qb once he learns the terminology. If that doesn’t work out, he can always go on The Bachelor and become the first man to give the winning rose to himself. No one will argue, since all will agree on the only proper mate for such perfection being perfection itself--i.e., Blaine Gabbert himself.
If you are interested in Blaine Gabbert, please turn to page 37.
If you are interested in continuing shopping, please return to page 23.
To start your adventure over, go back to page 1.
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