Talking Tactics column makes a return; First up, “total football”

We all have our soccer broadcasting pet peeves. Some are pretty much a game-by-game occurrence, like the old “feeling out” bit.

As in, “Here in the early minutes, we see the teams just feeling each other out.”

It’s really such a silly thing to say. If you mean that players are apt to be cautious and make safe passes in the game’s early minutes, then just say so! Don’t fall back on the old sports hack and jargon. Leave that stuff for the baseball announcers.

Meanwhile, there are other clichéd broadcaster bugaboos in soccer that are specific to certain teams. For instance, every stinking time I get to see the Dutch soccer team, I have to hear about how the lowland nation of fancy footballers plays “total football.”

Of course, no Dutch team has truly played “total football” since 1974 – a fact that has apparently escaped the notice of every person with access to a microphone and camera in the 36 years since then.

I write more about it and why we’re bound to put up with more of this “total football” inaccuracy

Aron Winter is in charge at Toronto this year. He’s Dutch. So, clearly, they must be playing “total football,” right? Well, not so much.

The column will be a weekly thing, by the way. I did it last year, too, but it often got lost in the tangle as the new editors and web wizards got their feet set at the redesigned site.