They ran the 115th Boston Marathon on Monday, and as usual, nobody ran it faster than the Kenyans. Geoffery Mutai set a world record with his time of two hours three minutes and two seconds, and Kenya’s Caroline Kilel won the women’s race in two hours twenty-two minutes and thirty-six seconds.
The Boston Marathon Winner Blows Your Mind (Again), And You Cannot Stop The Kenyans
On average, Mutai ran every mile in about 4:41. Which... Think about that. To run that fast for even a mile would be a dream for most of us, but for twenty-six miles in a row? That’s the sort of mind-bending, physics-defying accomplishment that makes time and space fold in on itself. Like Vince Carter at the 2000 Dunk Contest. Humans shouldn’t be able to do that. And yet, the Kenyan runners do it every single year.
I’ve been to four different Boston Marathons, and just about every one ends the same way. With the entire city of Boston drunk and delirious at day’s end, staring at a blurry TV showing a Kenyan on the podium and some insane time scrolled underneath.
“What is it with all those guys?” someone asks from the back. And on that point, an old article from Slate helps explain the phenomenon:
The vast majority of Kenya’s brightest running stars were born and raised at high altitude. Running at higher elevations builds greater lung capacity, because athletes grow accustomed to the thinner air. Many of the finest runners, for example, hail from the hilly region surrounding Eldoret, about 7,000 to 8,000 feet above sea level. This area also possesses a fairly mild climate that allows for year-round running.
And it’s not just the physiology:
...perhaps a more important factor is the nation’s running culture, particularly among the Kalenjin tribe. Though Kalenjins represent just 12 percent of Kenya’s population, they comprise about three-quarters of the nation’s elite runners. The trend started with Kip Keino, who won Olympic gold in the 1,500 meters in 1968 and added an Olympic steeplechase title in 1972. The ex-policeman’s success inspired succeeding generations of Kalenjins, who grew up idolizing Keino. As a result, Kalenjins now aspire to distance-running titles in the same way American youths dream of playing in a Super Bowl.
So what happens when evolution creates insane genetics and culture somehow makes marathoning a glamor sport? Well, over the past 20 years, 17 of the Boston Marathon winners have been Kenyan. And on that note, I feel better about abandoning my marathon training halfway through last summer. Clearly, the Kenyans have this sport locked down, so why should the rest of us even bother?
[/goes back to surfing the internet with crippling ADD]
Remember that Seinfeld clip about the marathon winner?
Say what you want about the Kenyans, but they didn’t make Seinfeld!
China is Marbury's world, the rest of those billion people are just livin' in it. From GQ:
Still, in the city's defense, "shithole," with its connotations of biotic robustness, was an unfair epithet. It was more like an engine, which was how Marbury regarded his adoptive home. Riding through Taiyuan, he pointed out the gleaming condominium towers going up along the custard-colored Fen River, and the storefronts where he imagined Starbury outlets opening their doors a few months from now. "This is one of the richest cities in China, and I'm here to be a part of it," he told me several times.
The Starbury Corporation's future projects here might range from skyscraper construction to lumber and cotton, to "anything that's got anything to do with something being made." Even in the coal soot itself, Marbury saw future riches. "You just gave me an idea," he replied when I marveled at Taiyuan's grime. "Mobile car washes. Give these people a taste for being clean. I'm gonna get the schematics on that immediately."
Mobile car washes courtesy of the Starbury Corporation? How do I buy stock in that? I’m gonna need to get the schematics on that immediately.
Behind the scenes with Babe Ruth in the 1920s. From last week, but still totally epic:
His libido had raged unchecked while in Boston. Now that he was turned loose upon a city far larger and stocked with many, many more available women, Ruth’s sexual scorecard rivaled his home-run rate. He generally preferred prostitutes, because he had neither the time nor the inclination to court properly. Hunt of the Daily News would accompany the Babe on adventures out into the wilds of the nation, in search of Ruth’s two favorite targets: steak dinners and cathouses. In Hot Springs, Ruth would take writer Frank Graham driving in the Arkansas countryside, looking for farmhouses advertising “Chicken Dinners.” “What he really wanted was the chicken-daughter combo, and he got plenty of them,” recalled Graham.
Mmmmmm... Nothing beats the ole chicken-daughter combo in backwoods Arkansas!
Wait, what?
Harrison Barnes, coming back to UNC. Can’t we just roll over the NBA Draft ‘till next year?
Barnes, a freshman, was the consensus top pick before the season started, but he dropped off with some early struggles. He resuscitated his stock later in the year and was back near the top of the prospect pile by the end of March. Now, though, he is just the latest in a string of likely lottery picks who have decided to return to school—probably inspired by the NBA’s looming lockout—watering down what was an already shaky crop of draftees.
Three possible top picks—Barnes, Ohio State’s Jared Sullinger and Baylor’s Perry Jones—have already pulled out of draft consideration. Other likely first-rounders, like John Henson and Tyler Zeller of North Carolina, Jeremy Lamb of Connecticut and Syracuse’s Kris Joseph, have already withdrawn their names from the draft.
Of course this would be the year when the Cavs have two top-five picks. Even Cleveland’s silver linings have a way of looking gray and hopeless. On the bright side, vote for Peyton Hillis!
Spencer Hall reviews College Football’s spring games. Go not for the actual analysis, but for the gratuitous ‘Bama bashing: “WOOO LET’S UNVEIL A STATUE OF A DUDE WITH BANGS AND A SHAKER SHOWIN’ UP NAHSHUNL FUNYUNSHIP---”
Finally, some pitches for awesomely terrible TV shows. From Danger Guerrero at Warming Glow, a series of TV pitches so offensive and debased, they must be put into production immediately. Some, just because of the titles--we need a show about jewish teens in Florida imitating Snooki called “100% Florida Orange Jews.” Others, because if we’re going to lower our cultural standards with reality TV, we might as well go all out:
Summary: The genre of daytime judge shows reaches its logical conclusion. Nah mean?
Title: Judge Ghostface Killah.
Really, I can’t co-sign this idea enough. His Twitter’s already a repository for brilliance, and the only thing better than Ghostface dropping his pearls of wisdom on Twitter would be bringing his street justice and life experience to Daytime television. So... MAKE IT HAPPEN, FOX.
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