A Play in One Act

(John Mozeliak sits at his desk. There’s a KNOCK.)

↵John Mozeliak: Come in.

↵(Enter Albert Pujols, with a big friendly smile.)

↵Albert Pujols: Heyyyyyyyyy, buddy! How’s it going?

↵Mozeliak: Just fine, Albert.

↵Pujols: Cool. Cool. (Beat.) Liiiiiiiisten. That offer you made, back in February--

↵Mozeliak: Nope.

↵Pujols: No. I didn’t think so. Okay. Cool. Thanks.

↵(Pujols limps off.)

↵Flourish. Exeunt. Curtain.

↵(And yes, I know he’ll be fine, and have a great year, and all that. But he’s hurt, and he’s turning 46 next January.)