Robinson Cano Rallies Past Adrian Gonzalez To Win 2011 Home Run Derby

That momentum continued once the final round commenced, as Gonzalez rolled to a record tying 11 dingers. Throughout the performance his blasts scattered across the park in spectacular fashion. Left field, center field, right field; it didn’t matter, he touched them all. In the end, no one could have anticipated the force of nature that Cano would become, but that shouldn’t marginalize the amazing show the newest Red Sox All-Star put on.

Throughout his six appearances that fateful season, Cano gathered a lifetime of memories that he would eventually bestow upon his young son, Robinson. Now, 22 years later, Robinson was offered a chance to repay his father on the grandest stage with one final memory that would top them all.

“The best thing is not my swing, it’s the gentleman that was throwing B.P., my dad,” Robinson said, as Jose stood by his side reveling in the post-event glory. “I want to tell him he’s one of the best fathers, thank him for the support and making me who I am today.”

After what seemed like an endless parade of pre-event hype coverage and MLB posturing, the first round of the 2011 Homerun Derby finally began from Chase Field in Phoenix, Arizona. Boston’s Adrian Gonzalez kicked things off strong, belting nine first round bombs to set the starting mark.

Next up was St. Louis’ Matt Holliday, the first National League representative. Sporting a history of Homerun Derby failure, the Cardinal outfielder would again fall victim to his dinger demons. As our own Jeff Sullivan so astutely put it:

The 2011 Home Run Derby is behind us now, and it feels like only three and a half hours ago that it hadn’t even begun. Over the course of the broadcast, we watched players hit home runs, and we watched players not hit home runs, and a gay old time was had by some number of viewers and participants.

A few closing thoughts before I pack up and go home, by which I mean close this tab and search Google for penguins sliding on ice:

Wait a second, none of these players are wearing helmets! They haven’t been wearing helmets the whole time! Everybody’s always talking about safety and the impressionable children, but apparently safety doesn’t matter during the home run derby. What if there are kids watching? Do we not care, because this is a meaningless exhibition instead of an actual game of significance? Does that mean players can take steroids for the derby too? Because that would probably make the derby way better.

...Cano’s off to a strong start, with four outs and five homers. Said the broadcast of a Cano home run:

“That’s me, but purple!”

Gonzalez now has eight homers on five outs, which should do hold on wait a second I thought the final round was only five outs, not ten. When did this change? Did this change? Am I just making up a rule that didn’t exist? Probably the worst thing about the home run derby is watching the home run derby and finding out it’s even longer than you thought it was going in. It’s like if I took the SAT without knowing there were 2400 possible points now. What do you mean there’s more test!

Unless that Gatorade is poisoned. Gonzalez is on fire now, by the way, with nine home runs on his last ten swings. I guess that Gatorade was not poisoned. Somehow Chris Berman has resisted the temptation to call him en fuego although it’s possible that he did say it and I was just typing too loudly. I find this unlikely, because I think it’s impossible to type louder than Chris Berman’s voice.

Gonzalez is hitting them out everywhere. Right field. Left field. Center field, which is not easy in Arizona. He nearly just murdered a cameraman, which I would have .giffed for you guys in short order, but alas.

Ortiz’s second round concludes with an unimpressive four home runs. Or, if you prefer:

Music 1: 2 outs, 1 home run

Music 2: 8 outs, 3 home runs

The swing-off results:

Gonzalez: 9

Cano: 8

Ortiz: 5

Fielder: 5

Holliday: just quit, you embarrass everyone

Ortiz hasn’t caught fire yet, and he just huddled with his teammates, who were presumably telling him he needs to get better because he is killing them. Aaaaand the round is now over, with Ortiz hitting five home runs. It was nice to get that little huddle break. It was like the home run derby equivalent of a coaching visit to the mound, and I know how much we all love coaching visits to the mound.

Hey it turns out this thing isn’t starting on time. I’ll be damned! But what this minor delay has given me the chance to do is track down the proper link to MLB.com’s free online broadcast of the derby, right here. The upside is that the MLB.com broadcast appears - for now - to be different from the ESPN broadcast. The downside is this:

Additionally, you remember that “Derby expected to be a blast” headline from earlier? Turns out MLB.com enjoyed that wordplay so much they basically repeated it elsewhere.

The moment is almost upon us now, as the 2011 Home Run Derby will begin in 15 minutes. It will actually begin 23 minutes from when I am writing this sentence, but I am forecasting how long it will take me to complete this update, because I am a slow writer and I don’t like going back to fill in blanks when I am otherwise finished with something.

Interestingly, a little while ago, MLB.com provided a link to a video where you could watch Monday evening’s derby participants take batting practice. The home run derby basically is batting practice, so that was an opportunity to watch batting practice before batting practice. Because the home run derby isn’t long enough as it is. I will never get over people’s fascination with watching athletes practice.