A few weeks ago, I interviewed Cardinals superfan Josh “Randy” Sullivan, who you may know as the “Get A Brain, Morans!” guy (or from his wildly offensive Twitter feed). Unfortunately, Mr. Sullivan was unhappy with the way he was “portrayed” in the interview and threatened to sue SB Nation for defamation of character—that is, unless he were allowed to write an occasional column for Baseball Nation, without editorial interference. Though SB Nation’s lawyers assure us they are “beyond confident” that Mr. Sullivan has no legal leg upon which to stand, the editors have decided, in an abundance of caution, to honor his request—in exchange for a (legally binding) promise that he not bring suit against SB Nation or any of its bloggers now, or at any future date. So, with that out of the way, please enjoy the first in a series of “Randy’s Redbird Reflections.” - Jason Brannon, for the Editors
Randy’s Redbird Reflections
Since I haven’t written anything since junior high, I decided to copy the best writer I know—Larry King. He used to write for the USA Today paper before he passed away into the Great Beyond. Larry used a lot of dot-dot-dots, which I appreciate because it gives you a chance to think about or “digest” what you just read, and maybe go back and read it again if you didn’t get it the first time. Thanks for the inspiration, L.K. Don’t let the angels tug on your suspenders!...
First off, that interview I did with that so-called “writer” was heavily edited, and a lot of what I said was “taken out of context.” For instance, I never said Tulowitzki has the potential to be a True Cardinal. I said that if he keeps it up, maybe in a few years, when Theriot retires, Jocketty should give him a look-see, if he’s still in the league...
And when Mr. Brandon asked me about my beloved Albert Pujols possibly being traded to the Cubs, I specifically remember dropping the following bombs: F, C, S, and the other F...
The Cardinals have got the Milwaukee Choke Crew right where they want them. It’s almost cruel the way the Cardinals have done them this year...
Nothing quenches my thirst like fluids...
The Cardinals are on the brick of a new era of dominance not seen since the Globetrotters beat the Washington Generals that one time...
Whenever someone says baseball needs replay, I just say the words “Human Element.” There is no comeback for that...
I read Stink Butt Nation’s so-called Cardinals blog, Viva El Birdos. Those guys take all the fun out of baseball with their elitist knowledge of the game and their nerdy stat talk. The only stat I care about is W’s! And I didn’t appreciate how they failed to leap to Yadi’s defense when he got bumped and spit upon by that umpire. You guys could learn a lot about journalism and being a “pro” and being the best fans in baseball (BFIB) from the Cardinals broadcast crew...
How do you make the letters slanty?...
I was not sorry to see Colby ASSmus go to Canada. He and his lazy-fair attitude were a big part of the Cards’ focus problem last year, which Ryan Theriot cured with his grittiness. Just what Dr. La Russa ordered!...
Oh, and Colby, good luck being the escape coat for the Devil Jays every year from now on! ROFLMAO!!...
The Cardinals lead the NL in hitting. Looks like Big Mac is doing a great job injecting the Cardinals’ batters with his knowledge...
Winning mentality...
I tape every Cards game on my TV/VCR combo, but I tape over the losses. And I always use the EP speed. Would you rather have 2 episodes of Monk on one tape or 6? (I would rather have 6.)...
I love it when the Cardinals bunt guys over, but sometimes a ground out is just as good as a bunt...
Theriot...
I had my fancy tickled once. Hurt like hell...
I can’t understand why Jocketty would trade for Furcal when we already have a perfectly gritty shortstop called The Riot. I’m against human cloning (and dolphins) but would gladly take a lineup of 9 Theriot’s...
Getting an early start on my Halloween costume this year: Sexy Dave Duncan...
Heard A-Fraud got in trouble for playing poker. I hope they throw the book at him. And make it the Good Book, please...
Seeing the Padres in their military fatigues always gives me flashbacks to the first time I saw Platoon on scrambled HBO...
Just received my Theriot and Punto jerseys from MLB baseball! Who wants the sleeves? First come first serve. Hit me up on email PRPP93A@prodigy.net... Go Cards! - Randy
