What a crazy holiday season it has been and continues to be! There were a whole bunch of football games over the weekend, followed by a whole bunch of basketball games on Christmas Day. Normally, we bring you the Week in Worst on Tuesday, but we figured you’d all be too busy complaining that you got the black iPhone 5 instead of the white iPhone 5 to care too much about athletes looking like stupid idiots, even if it is in convenient GIF form.
The Week in Worst: Crappy holidays
It was a festive week for many, yet bad performances continued to plague professional sports. Where will it end?
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Bill Hanstock is a writer, author and Emmy Award-winning producer. He began writing for SB Nation in 2011.
Luckily, the athletes themselves didn’t take Christmas off from being bad at things, so we had plenty of stuff to choose from. So please enjoy the very worst plays from the week of Dec. 18-25.
Yes, there are captions on the NFL GIFs this week. We hope this doesn’t ruin your life completely.
Worst Decision (Football)
Team: Detroit Lions
Date: Dec. 22
The Lions had just managed a safety within the two-minute warning, so they got a free kick. A quick touchdown and an onside kick, and you never know! They still had a shot at actually pulling off the win. Then Stefan Logan decided to take a knee on the free kick. That didn't put them on the 20. It wasn't a kickoff. Look at all that ground he could have covered! Wow! You think his coach was upset about that?
Yeah. He was upset.
Worst Play (Football)
Team: Arizona Cardinals
Date: Dec. 23
The Arizona Cardinals have sort of been having a bad season, but this GIF sums it all up rather succinctly. The Cardinals were down by 11 in the second quarter so they faked like they were going for a 50-yard field goal. They had over 10 yards to go to convert. It ended with Jay Feely getting pursued by four Bears before fumbling the ball out of bounds. All in all, it may have been the thing that went the best for the Cardinals in the entire game.
Look at that sad little football fly up out of bounds. It’s like watching the hopes and dreams of Arizona’s fans. Except more spry.
Worst Touchdown Celebration
Player: Jacoby Jones
Date: Dec. 23
Jacoby Jones has moves. Terrible moves that shouldn’t exist. Awful moves that involve tight tights, unnecessary hand motions and a preponderance of butt wiggles. Even when touchdowns get called back, like this one did, Jacoby’s there, making his top half go full B-boy and his bottom half go full “Single Ladies.” Jacoby Jones must be stopped.
Worst Fumble Recovery
Team: Dallas Cowboys
Date: Dec. 23
Cowboys Defender 1: A fumble! Lo, I have forced it!
Cowboys Defender 2: Dare I scoop it up that we may fight anew? Dare I?
Cowboys Defender 1: Beware ye, fool, that no craven witch nor warlock hath enmajicked it askance!
Cowboys Defender 2: Be that a thing that may come to pass?
Cowboys Defender 1: It may, if thou treadst not lightly.
Cowboys Defender 2: Forsooth, my captain, your words ring true! Observe how the perplexed ball doth thrash about!
Cowboys Defender 1: Like a pike removed from the lake’s depths it does flail hither and yon! Certainly foule magicks be afoot!
Cowboys Defender 2: Verily!
Cowboys Defender 3: GUYS GET THE BALL WHAT THE FU
Cowboys Defender 1: Be we not so learned we may yet fall into the clutches of this foul jinx. Praise be we for being craftier men.
Cowboys Defender 2: Let these Saints fall upon their swords and bewitched foot-balls! We live to fight another day, clear of mind and sound of body!
Cowboys Defender 3: GET IT GET IT GET IT ARGH
Saints: HOORAY OH MY GOODNESS WHEEEEEEEEEEE
Cowboys Defender 1: Away we, to tavern! To drink of fresh ale and to be refreshed!
Cowboys Defender 2: It was well-met! HYAH!
/gallops off on horse
Cowboys Defender 3: I hate you guys.
Worst Interception
Player: Brady Quinn
Date: Dec. 23
That’s Dexter McCluster, who was the intended target for Quinn on this pick-six. It certainly was a McCluster, all right! Quinn thought it would be a good idea to not only throw a pass at a receiver who was facing away from him, but to throw it behind that receiver. It seems to me that if you combined the best aspects of Brady Quinn and Matt Cassel, you’d still get Brady Quinn and Matt Cassel. It’s like a paradox, but not exciting in any way.
This has been your requisite “lol Chiefs” for the week.
Worst Pass
Player: Nick Foles
Date: Dec. 23
The Eagles had eight seconds and two downs left to make it five yards to the goal line and tie the game. Instead, Nick Foles opted to make an illegal forward pass and end the game. There were ... probably better things they could have done there. Like tie the game! Or not get a penalty and be hit with the 10-second runoff. Or walk calmly off the field holding a big sign that says, “Sorry everyone.”
Worst Flop (Basketball)
Player: Metta World Peace
Date: Dec. 25
J.R. Smith: /takes slight step backwards
Metta World Peace: /flies backward three feet
/flails arms
Ref: Nope.
Metta World Peace: /skids length of court on face
/flies headlong into Jack Nicholson’s crotch
Ref: Newp.
Metta World Peace: /backflips up entire staircase leading from the court to the mezzanine
WHOA WHOA WHOA
/stumbles through room filled with mousetraps
/gets head stuck in cotton candy machine
Ref: Nuh-uh.
Metta World Peace: /falls off cliff into nest of vipers
WHAT IN GRAVY
/falls into clutches of evil man
/is summarily tied to train tracks
Ref: #cmonman
Metta World Peace: /flies backward into space, orbits Earth three times
/records new hip-hop album
Ref: Still more tolerable than Dwight Howard.
Worst Pass (Basketball)
Player: Jared Sullinger
Date: Dec. 25
When you see a bunch of basketball players all around each other, you lose sight of the fact that they are all absolute giants. Legendary heroes of some bygone age who should all probably be swinging a claymore and felling a griffon, if those things existed. Instead, they're doing the one thing their bodies are perfectly suited for: basketball. Basketball players doing anything else is the most awkward thing in the world and you realize, hey, society isn't really built for people of this size.
Every now and then, however, some of that goofiness will break through. Like when rookie Jared Sullinger goes I THROW BALL AT FRIEND NOW and just bamfs the rock straight off Jason Terry's head. Then we all just chuckle, because how can you not?
Worst Shot (Basketball)
Player: Kevin Martin
Date: Dec. 25
Sometimes a basketball player goes up for a shot and they suddenly realize that things have gotten WAY out of hand. Check out the look of sheer terror on Kevin Martin’s face. He knows things. He’s been around. It must be crazy to be playing in a professional basketball game and have a moment of perfect clarity accompanied by the thought I’M IN WAY OVER MY HEAD HERE. Luckily, we have this GIF to remind us that yes, sometimes athletes are out of their element and well aware of it.
Worst Coat (Basketball)
Player: Kobe Bryant
Date: Dec. 25
Just open this link in another window and watch the above GIF for four minutes or so. Merry Christmas.
