Turner Petersen would like you to have a seat

There are times that a stiffarm is more than a stiffarm. Some are like playing patty cake -- a way to just keep a defender away. Some are minor push-offs that allow a ballcarrier to keep his momentum.

This is none of those. This stiffarm by Turner Petersen should be illegal. Not in a football sense, though; It should, legitimately, carry an assault charge.

Sit down, young man. Turner Petersen won that dogfight and grounded you.