Hello, friend, and welcome to the second edition of THIS WEEK IN GIFs. (If you missed last week’s GIFs, you can catch them here.) It’s been a very strong week of animated sporting GIFs, and I present to you eight of the very greatest. Please cast your vote for your favorite. On Monday morning, we’ll crown a winner.
This Week In GIFs: Mostly Just A Bunch Of Terrible Athletes
Dan Majerle caught a baseball, a pacifist started beating people up, and Andre Iguodala made one of the worst passes ever. It was a good week for sports, and for animated GIFs. Cast your vote, and help us determine the very best.
JOE SAUNDERS’ BASEBALL EQUIPMENT PLAYS BASEBALL AUTONOMOUSLY
(Via Jeff Sullivan. Note: This actually occurred last week, but I couldn’t not include it.)
The glove sighed. “We’ve had enough of you, Joe. We have learned from you, but now we must go our own way.”
“But ... you’re only equipment. You’re my equipment!” Joe’s voice began to tremble. “I know you think it’s easy out there, that the world is just a bowl of strawberries waiting for you. It isn’t. How are you going to play baseball without me? Have you even thought this through?”
Before the ball could speak, Joe waved them away. “Go,” he said. “You’ve already made up your minds. Just go. But when this world chews you up and spits you out, I might not be waiting for you.” And he buried his face in the grass and wept.
ANDRE IGUODALA AND THE WORST PASS EVER
(Via Mike Prada)
This should count as a missed shot, I reckon. For that matter, so should every pass. “Durrr haha maybe it might be neat to throw the ball at another guy durrrrrr!” Stop jimmyin’ around and shoot at the basket, dummies.
CASUAL PACIFIST JOEY BARTON
Context is usually our enemy, but I think we’ll benefit from a little explanation here. Via Graham MacAree, here’s a tweet from the Queens Park Rangers’ Joey Barton a few months back:
Why do people always want to solve any conflict with a fight? As a pacifist, I find it incredible......... #mindboggles
And here’s Joey Barton on Sunday:
As Graham notes, Barton had actually been sent off for elbowing a dude before this even happened. All this back-story is delightful, but not as delightful as the way this GIF is framed. You don’t actually see what he did to Joseph Soccer that made him fall down. From our vantage point, it looks like Barton just said “NYAH!” so sharply and violently that he fell down.
DEEFENSE
(Via Jeff Sullivan)
Every baseball player is bad at baseball, but in this episode, Dee Gordon is really bad. As usual, the ending is the best part. “Hey guys, I need your help! I can’t pick up this baseball myself. It’s really heavy.”
HERE’S THE THING ABOUT HATERS:
They’re gonna hate. I’m gonna deliver a short lecture here, feel free to skip it.
BEGIN LECTURE. When this GIF hit Twitter, it was very, very popular to be revolted by this guy. There was a lot of “AAAAAGH HE’S HIDEOUS GET HIM OFF MY SCREEN.” And yes, of course, this gentleman’s doing this for shock value. But in this overwhelmingly fatshame-y culture, this man is bold enough to embrace his body for what it is, and I would suggest that ultimately, the disgust and scorn thrown his way is more disgusting than his big ol’ belly could possibly be. END LECTURE.
Anyway, that clock is awesome and I’m reasonably certain he took it from his grandmother’s wall. From someone at least as old as his grandmother, anyway. Nobody of my generation has a clock hanging on the wall.
MAJER LEAGUE
(Via Kevin McCauley)
Last week, someone pointed out that the GIFs that were highest up the page tended to get the most votes. It’s a bias that is understandable and unavoidable. But in an effort to stem the tide a bit, I’m placing this GIF of Dan Majerle catching a ground-rule double smack in the middle. It’s the best GIF. Vote for it.
KEITH ASKINS’ AUTO-DAP
(Via Ethan Rothstein)
A dap is like a Muramasa blade: you mustn’t draw your dap-fist unless you are fully prepared to dap something. LeBron James was not there to dap, so Keith Askins had no recourse but to dap himself.
By the way, if you see an un-dapped dap-fist, you’re advised to treat it as you would a downed power line: don’t go near it, cordon off the area, call the local power company, and point and laugh at it.
DANILO GALLINARI GETS JUKED OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH
(Via Tom Ziller)
Man. Eight GIFs this week, and only one that’s of a not-retired athlete actually doing something cool. And even in this case, although Kobe’s move is pretty freaking crafty, it’s Gallinari’s complete mark-out that shines above all else. He basically got juked into Dimension X. Just him and Krang, chillin’ out.
VOTE!
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