Everyone always complains about gaudy college uniforms, particularly the generally-absurd Nike Pro Combat spectacles. But it appears we were blind to the true enemy: high school football uniforms. Atlantic High School in Florida has demonstrated us just how foolish we were to sleep on the absurdity that public schools are capable of. Hit the jump, if you dare.
Florida HS Creates Ugliest Uniforms Ever
Bill Hanstock is a writer, author and Emmy Award-winning producer. He began writing for SB Nation in 2011.
Courtesy of Atlantic High (and, we guess, “FuturisticWoo”), we now have the official image of the uniform. Here goes nothing:
GAH
/looks at uniform through piece of smoked glass
There, that’s better. Sheesh. Warn someone before you do that, Atlantic High School.
Atlantic High’s colors are green and white and I suppose that, technically, this is green and white. Technically, it also looks like this guy just got slimed. Or that he was partying to hard with Zordon and Zordon barfed all over his left arm and leg. (That was a Power Rangers joke.)
Honestly, the weirdest part of this whole uniform to me? Not that this looks like a Frankenstein's monster cobbled together from the Oregon Ducks and Greenman; not the Dayglo-orange chinstrap. It's the odd little booties on the toes of the shoes. This is probably a common thing, but man; so weird.
Let’s all just bask in this, shall we? Oregon, we know you’re dying to top this. You are now officially on the clock.
