Kobe and Vanessa Bryant announce their non-divorce on a papyrus scroll

Kobe Bryant and his wife, Vanessa, are not getting a divorce. I normally wouldn't post something about news that isn't happening, but the way in which they announced it is what makes this newsworthy. Kobe and his wife have decided to stay together and apparently felt the need to announce this to the world via Instagram on some ancient scroll type of paper background. I assume it was initially written in hieroglyphics and then had to be translated into modern English.