Cartoon father, pop-culture icon and Winston shill Fred Flintstone has graced the cover of Fruity Pebbles cereal boxes since 1971. That’s a really long time, longer than most of us have been alive. It’s one of the most famous boxes in advertising history.
John Cena to replace Fred Flintstone on Fruity Pebbles boxes
That blood-curdling scream you hear is the sound of your childhood dying.
Michael N. Todaro
Well, all of that is changing. Cartoon Brew is reporting that Flintstone will be replaced on the cover by....John Cena.
That cover raises all sorts of questions. Why is Bam Bam there? Why is Cena feeding him? Did Wilma divorce Fred and is now dating Cena, and Cena is doing that awkward thing where he pretends to be your dad but deep down you know he really isn't, leading to a lifetime of resentment, therapy bills and shitty emo music?
Why are they replacing Fred, anyway? Because he’s apparently not “hip” with the kids anymore:
"We’ve just been talking with kids. They wanted more variety,” she said. “Fred isn’t necessarily the … coolest or [most] relevant guy for kids who we are going after.”
Makes perfect sense, if you’re a middle-aged executive who hasn’t spoken to an actual child in about 20 years.
At any rate, if you missed out on the Twinkies racket, now’s your chance to buy up Fruity Pebbles boxes and sell them for exorbitant prices on eBay.
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