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Come Fan with UsSunday, June 21, 2026

What is Alex Smith doing right now? Jan. 23

Bill Hanstock
Bill Hanstock is a writer, author and Emmy Award-winning producer. He began writing for SB Nation in 2011.

On Jan. 23, Alex Smith attended a midday open mic poetry slam at the Blue Stork Coffee House and Jazz Lounge in Oakland, Calif.

Presented below are excerpts from poems that Smith read, each of which were responded to with polite but unenthusiastic applause.

Smithslam_medium

“Drop the Dime”

Hey man
I’m trying to place a call
But this RECEIVER’S
busted
Trying to get a reading of
what’s going into my POCKET
is it a NICKEL
or a DIME
I can’t find it

I’m just trying to get through to you
Trying to make a connection
But you’re not picking up

Can’t you see what I’m trying to say?
I’m still
Here
Doing everything I can
But I can’t even get
The Operator

Don’t you see what I’m trying to say, man?
I just want my QUARTER
BACK

“Playing Hardbaughll”

Waiting
Hoping
Reaching at something
Throwing lobs
I don’t think
You’ll ever catch

Why do you stand there
Stone-faced
Then throwing a tantrum

Why won’t you look at me
Why won’t you see me
Why do you deny me
Why do you take power from me

You
Always
Playing favorites
Picking and choosing

I’m a person
too

You inspire:
Teamwork
Passion
Heartbreak
My tears
Despair

Your turtleneck
is on backwards
It’s a metaphor
for our relationship

Get it?

“Cape? Or Nick?”

HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE
HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE
HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE
HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE
HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE

SHOULD BE ME SHOULD BE ME SHOULD BE ME
SHOULD BE ME SHOULD BE ME SHOULD BE ME
SHOULD BE ME SHOULD BE ME SHOULD BE ME
SHOULD BE ME SHOULD BE ME SHOULD BE ME
SHOULD BE ME SHOULD BE ME SHOULD BE ME

[At this point, Smith was told to leave, as he was unduly disturbing people who were just there for coffee.]

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