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Come Fan with UsWednesday, August 5, 2026

My Hall of Fame ballot

This may come as a shock to you, dear reader, but despite having written such blog items as The Wisdom of Ayn Randberg and Darwin Barney Name Generator, I have not yet been admitted to the BBWAA. So, though my vote won’t “count” in the technical sense, I humbly submit my ballot so that it may be used in the event of a tie or something.

Ugueth Urbina - More strikeouts than innings pitched. Never actually killed anyone.

Craig Biggio - Craig Biggio was a grinder, a gamer, and he did all the little things. He always gave 110 percent, was a grinder and a proven winner. A grinder. He’s also very tiny, so you know he didn’t use steroids, because they make you big and tough.

Fred McGriff - Homered in 43 different ballparks. Need I say more? Look, Babe Ruth didn’t homer in no 43 different parks, is all I’m saying.

Nestor Chylak - Was an umpire for a really long time.

Jack Morris - Because f*** you, Jonah Hill.

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