This week, a picture of a baby dressed like Andy Reid set the Internet on fire. Naturally, parents are now wondering how THEY can get THEIR children to look like world-famous coaches. Well, you’re in luck, because we’re here to help. Please enjoy our step-by-step guide on how to transform your toddler into a weird millionaire in just a few simple steps!
The SB Nation guide to baby coach costumes
Pop quiz, hotshot: it’s all Hallow’s Eve and you want to make your baby look like your favorite sports coach. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?! Relax; we’ll tell you.
All photos courtesy of the wonderful @LSUFreek
1. Custom “nicotine sunset” baby mustache.
2. Detroit Tigers onesie made of reclaimed Prince Fielder beard hair.
3. Candy cigarettes, the choice of negligent parents everywhere, are included with costume.
1. Crystal football included, even if your baby did not win its conference.
2. Baby’s natural distressed expression, no makeup needed.
3. Headset doubles as sippy cup/camelbak.
4. Moisture wicking Alabama onesie that snaps at the crotch, just like the ones Alabama’s staff wears over diapers to ensure no wasted movement or valuable recruiting time spent foolishly traveling to a the bathroom.
1. Silver fox wig.
2. A truly “Special One-sie” with graphic tie matches whatever team Mourinho baby will be coaching next year.
3. Soccer ball is functional and carries snacks for everyone except Arsene Wenger.
1. Silicone grass chew toy for the baby who wants to pay homage to the earth, but also wants a dishwasher-safe chew toy.
2. Pocket watch does not work and teaches babies nothing, because Les Miles Baby knows time is a lie.
1. Baby Bic and Burt’s Bee’s Infant Head Shine included allow you to show off the still-fusing plates skullpiece just like the head coach of the New York Knicks.
2. Goatee is berry-flavored to provide sensory stimulation for developing taste buds.
3. (AMARE STOUDEMIRE NOT INCLUDED OR REQUIRED.)
1. Washable fabric baby bucks allow Baby Calipari to learn the value of a full wallet in recruiting... YOUR HEART.
2. Baby Calipari plastic hair mold is also an infant thermometer.
1. Baby Petrino hat features detachable patch to accommodate whatever red-wearing team Petrino will coach next year, because Baby Petrino only coaches red teams.
2. Neck brace is made of cold flexible plastic, just like Bobby Petrino.
Have more suggestions? Leave ‘em in the comments (Photoshops highly encouraged).
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