No, the NFL is not canceling the Super Bowl Halftime Show next year

It would be hard to top Beyonce in New Orleans this year, and according to anonymous sources in the New York Post this week, organizers of next year’s New Jersey Super Bowl may not even try:

Hope you enjoyed Beyoncé, football fans, because next year, there may not be a halftime show at the frigid Meadowlands Super Bowl.

There is no plan for [a halftime show] at Super Bowl XLVIII in the open-air home of the Jets and Giants in New Jersey — because NFL officials can’t figure out how to stage the festivities in the frigid climate, sources told The Post.

“It’s because of the cold weather,” revealed one source involved in the planning of the first-ever open-to-the-winter-elements Super Bowl.

“It’s not only the acts and the singers but [also] the crews that have to put the stage together. You know, the assembly has to be done a certain way. It’s choreographed and rehearsed so it can be assembled and disassembled as fast as possible. And you just can’t assemble the stage and break it down fast enough in the cold.”

Suuuuuuuuuuure, okay, it’s the “cold weather” that scares organizers. It’s definitely not the performance we just saw, where Beyonce burned up the stage and maybe caused the power to blow in the New Orleans Superdome, upstaging the Super Bowl altogether.

As her husband said that night:

Now, thanks to Mr. Carter’s wife, it might be lights out forever.

It’s hard to tell what’s going on here and who we should trust, but all we know for sure that it started with Beyon--wait, they’re not cancelling the halftime show and all these reports are a waste of time?

DAMNIT, this was going to be such a great conspiracy.

But okay, forget we ever had this conversation.

“Chill out” and play it cool, everyone, and go back to furiously lobbying the committee to select the Diplomats for next year’s halftime show. It’s gonna be great.