Yes, everyone is very invested in March Madness at the moment. And yes, we are all being stunned by sloppy play, terrible decisions, inefficient and ineffective shots and everyone that Florida Gulf Coast University is dunking over. But let us not forget about the NBA! Because this week, everyone in the NBA basically forgot how the heck to pass a dang basketball to someone else. It is with this running theme that we proudly present the Week in Worst.
The Week in Worst: Someone please learn how to pass the ball
We were able to make nearly an entire Week in Worst out of just awful, awful, atrocious NBA passes. It’s okay though; the plays are almost as bad when the passes work.
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Bill Hanstock is a writer, author and Emmy Award-winning producer. He began writing for SB Nation in 2011.
You’ll see some familiar faces here, as well as some people who are brand-new to the GIFtacular goings-on here at the Week in Worst. Let’s all laugh at them the same, because in this column, everyone is equal. In that they’re all terrible.
There were a lot of bad plays this week, but the worst of the worst seem to have been all bunched up on March 23. Could March 23, 2013 be the most pathetic day in the history of the NBA? Based on a sample size of this article, almost certainly!
Here are the worst plays in the NBA for the week of March 19-25.
Worst Layup
Player: Nazr Mohammed
Date: March 23
You may remember Nazr Mohammed from such hits as “trying to fight Kevin Garnett“ and ”annihilating Tiago Splitter’s gonads” and “having an ‘R’ in his name that is somehow pronounced as a ‘Y’.” Here, he’s just plain old No. 48, grabbing an oop-style behind-the-back pass (a successful pass! There won’t be many of those in this column) and missing a can’t-miss layup. And it’s a turnover!
Why do I have a feeling that we’ll be seeing good ol’ Nazr in this column again before long?
Worst Pass
Player: Jarrett Jack
Date: March 23
I think I understand what happened here. See, Jarrett Jack thought that the Warriors were wearing their much-ballyhooed alternate uniforms. You know, the one with sleeves. So he leaped up into the air and looked behind him for the only dude on the court wearing sleeves: namely, that ref, you nearly throws out both his knees reversing directions and breaking into a sprint trying to follow a basketball that is suddenly making a beeline for the Warriors’ hoop.
Way to go, Jarrett. You did something stupid AND you made an official work hard. You’re a double threat!
Worst Missed Dunk
Player: Gerald Green
Date: March 23
You might think that the best part of this GIF is Green completely whiffing on the dunk. And you’d be right to think that, especially considering he hangs on the rim for a decent-length moment while trying to figure out what the hell just happened. But no, the actual best moment here is Paul George throwing up his hands like “lol the f--- was that?” and Green responding by touching a hand to his temple in a display of “I am apparently a huge dummy!”
I think they are both playing to my weaknesses of on-court subtleties in order to try to make it into the Week in Worst. It worked! Let this be a lesson to all aspiring Week-in-Worsters out there: be more acknowledging of when you’re bad at something. It doesn’t go unappreciated.
Worst Pass
Player: Keith Bogans
Date: March 23
Fun fact: in Australia, “bogan” is a disparaging term for supposedly “less-cultured” individuals. It’s sort of a catch-all phrase similar to “redneck” or “hillbilly” or similar here in the United States. Of course there is also a loving sense of “bogan pride” and a general embracing of the term throughout the continent. I wonder whether Keith Bogans knows about this alternate definition of his name. He must, right? He’s a famous guy. Someone has probably told him by now.
This has nothing to do with anything, but this bogan Bogans just tried to pass a ball to a referee, and only the ref’s slick, “Smooth Criminal”-type footwork was able to keep the ball from hitting him. Which would have, I dunno, unlocked multiball or something. No one knows what happens when a ball hits an official. We’ll probably never be able to find out. They’re just so quick!
Worst Airball
Player: Lamar Odom
Date: March 23
Odom’s strength is fading! Quick, get him a giant tub of Red Vines and like two pound of chocolate turtles! Either the rocky road-style confections or actual turtles covered in chocolate; it doesn’t really matter which. If it’s bad for you, he’ll eat it by the barrel.
Worst Pass
Player: Jeff Teague
Date: March 24
How embarrassing. Teague thought that Larry Sanders’ foot was a good thing to pass to! It’s not! Here is a list of reasons why Larry Sanders’ foot is not a good thing to pass to:
- He wasn’t looking at you
- Feet, unlike hands, are not suited for catching a basketball (unless you’re Hank McCoy)
- Larry Sanders is on the other team!
- ^^^^^^^^
- #feelashamed
Worst Three-Point Attempt
Player: Deron Williams
Date: March 23
Flew too close to the sun, Deron. By which I mean that shot nearly hit the sun, it was so high! HEYO!
(This is an exaggeration. The sun is one astronomical unit away from the Earth. Not even the strongest NBA athlete could throw a basketball that far. Sadly. Space Jam was not a documentary. Sadly.)
Worst Pass
Player: Festus Ezeli
Date: March 23
Look at Harrison Barnes and Carl Landry both turning and watching that sail well out of bounds. Look at Festus doing a full-body grimace as the rock flies off into the night. Look at the ref signalling Washington ball before that thing even lands. This is absolutely spectacular. In a week full of terrible passes, it is likely that this one takes the cake. Note: there is no cake. Week in Worst honorees are forced to eat Good & Plenty, because Good & Plenty are basically the worst sweet/candy ever invented. Only Lamar Odom likes those.
Worst Shot
Player: Blake Griffin
Date: March 23
Blake Griffin is known in some, very select, very few circles as a bit of a flopper. Or maybe a flopster. Noted flop enthusiast. Whatever. Here, he appears to lose his footing and decides to take a shot anyway, hoping to get a foul called. The Clippers should have got an offensive foul called on them for “most terrible and ill-advised shot decision in quite some time.”
I am not sure how NBA fouls work.
Worst Pass
Player: Luke Walton
Date: March 20
Okay so this is more a bad CATCH than a bad PASS, but it still falls in the general “pass” category. Luke Walton is more concerned with his swank Cody Rhodes-style facemask than with trying to get his slippery-as-a-fish mitts on the ball. It’s okay. Imagine if you had to wear a mask at work. You’ll probably be dropping stuff all the time, too.
Worst Genital Mutilation
Player: Nick Collison
Date: March 20
Like Nazr Mohammed before him, here’s Marc Gasol leading in with the knee and possibly rupturing something in a collision with Collison. (I’m the first person to ever make a Collison/collision joke, I’m pretty sure.) On closer examination, it’s possible that Gasol’s knee hits Collison’s inner thigh or hip, but still OW.
Collison’s sell of the possible crotch crash is fantastic, as is Russell Westbrook’s “Wait, should I be concerned here?” reaction. Forget it, Russ. It’s Week in Worsttown.
