One of the exciting things about being a professional baseball writer is that I get all sorts of promotional e-mails. Some of them are really neat! Did you know that Brad Mangin is releasing a book? I didn’t, but a promotional e-mail alerted me. That’s pretty nifty. Did you know that Sam Miller of Baseball Prospectus is available for lengthy, in-depth interviews about baseball, life, and his favorite Quannum albums? Sure he is. I can give you his phone number if you want.
Numerology, park-adjusted
But this e-mail is probably my favorite so far:
EXPERT INTERVIEW REQUEST
That’s just the e-mail header, and it’s already one of the better promotional e-mails I’ve received. I’m listening, I’m listening!
For your upcoming segments or stories, please consider numerologist, Yogi Akal, and his expertise on sports numerology. Below is the outlook for three of the top popular sports figures today:The e-mail gives sample outlooks for three athletes.
Basketball’s representative player is Lebron James.
Football’s representative player is Tom Brady.
Here’s baseball’s:
Numerology of Alex Gonzalez, March 2013
Alex Gonzalez has been cleaning house and he is coming in for his reward. Think fast, because the field is changing and so is he. By the end of May he is positioned to be somewhere new. His family is growing, his coaches are changing, his communication opportunities are opening up.
Then there’s an offer in the e-mail to interview the Yogi. At first I figured that no one interviews him any more because he does too many interviews. But I took a chance:
Baseball Nation: Did you really mean Alex Gonzalez?
Yogi Akal: Yes.
Baseball Nation: You didn’t really mean Alex Rodriguez?
Yogi Akal: No.
Baseball Nation: Which Alex Gonzalez did you mean? The one who played for the Blue Jays in 2001, or the one who played for the Blue Jays in 2010?
Yogi Akal: 2010.
Baseball Nation: How will Alex Gonzalez hit this year? Will he even play?
Yogi Akal: I’m sorry, but I’ve answered your three questions. Thank you.
Baseball Nation: Wait.
There you have it. Alex Gonzalez has been cleaning house. You can use this information for fantasy baseball, but there is probably a way you can gamble a lot of money on it, too.
Note: I made that interview up. But if you’re curious about Yogi Akal, he has his own website
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