Welcome back to the Week in Worst, where we take bad plays, make GIFs out of them and sometimes mock them at length in a video! Speaking of videos, this time around I'm here to discuss Carlos Boozer, a fist to the gibblies and the unfortunate limitations of the GIF format.
The Week in Worst: Right in the beanbag
We’re just going around punching referees in the privates now? Well, okay; carry on then.
Bill Hanstock is a writer, author and Emmy Award-winning producer. He began writing for SB Nation in 2011.
I think we all learned a lot today. And by “learned” I mean “watched a guy get hit in his doodads.”
Here are the worst NBA plays for the week of March 25-31.
Worst Genital Mutilation
Referee: Danny Crawford
Date: March 30
If you haven’t watched the above video yet, you might want to do that now. But I don’t blame you if you just stare at this GIF for a while. We’ll wait.
Worst Way to Make Kobe Angry
Player: Pau Gasol
Date: March 25
Pau, how long have you been playing with Kobe by now? Like six years? Don’t you know that you’re supposed to pass the ball to Kobe, not to the back of the guy standing between you and Kobe? Don’t you know that’s going to earn you at the very least a pinkbelly and at worst an atomic wedgie after the game? Self-preservation, Pau: it’s not just a river in Egypt.
Worst Footwork
Player: Ersan Ilyasova
Date: March 28
Let’s break this down, shall we?
- J.J. Redick throws a pass
- Ilyasova grabs for it
- Ilyasova tips it
- Ilyasova grabs for it again and whiffs
- Ilyasova falls over
- Turnover
Usually when someone throws a pass that hits you in the hands, you shouldn’t fall over. Ilyasova is an iconoclast, which I guess should count for something. In this case, that “something” is laughs and chuckles, because haha what.
Worst Pass
Player: Earl Clark
Date: March 25
Chagrined reaction shot included because it's totally worth it. The first several times I watched this, I didn't think Dwight Howard even looked at Clark, but on further examination he does give Clark the shortest of glances after Clark grabs the ball. Probably not enough to warrant hucking the ball at his back. But it does earn an impressed delayed emphatic signal from the ref and a round of applause from Kobe Bryant. So at least you did something right, Earl!
What’s that? The applause was likely sarcastic?
Oh.
Well, keep trying!
Worst Clutch Shot
Player: Matt Barnes
Date: March 26
Here’s my big chance! Wide open! Overtime! Shot clock and regular clock winding down! Barnes has a chance to tie!
*hup*
It’s up! It’s heading for the net! This could be it! DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRA--
*whiff*
Aw.
Aw mannnnnnn.
Awwww.
Dannnnngggggggggggg.
Worst Depth Perception
Player: Mike James
Date: March 26
So many layers to this one! Elton Brand helpfully signalling that it's Clippers' ball. Vince Carter suggesting that James not be such an idiot, maybe. Chris Paul not even believing what's happening here. James himself stumbling and fumbling all the way out of frame. The Clippers bench scrambling to grab the ball. Dirk Nowitzki agog. Sometimes basketball is hard, but at least no one else can believe how bad this play was.
Worst Facilitating
Player: Kobe Bryant
Date: March 28
The 2013 Kobe Bryant, as you may have heard, is a player who makes plays happen for his teammates. Like here, were he throws a 10-foot-high pass for the 6’3 Steve Blake. You just gotta WANT it more, Steve. If you were on Kobe’s level, you’d have ooped that alley, as god intended.
Worst Shot
Player: Jordan Crawford
Date: March 26
Sometimes a fadeaway jumper isn’t the right choice. This is such a bad call that you can’t even call this a fadeaway jumper. Maybe a -- I don’t know -- star-wipe jumper? A fade-to-black jumper? How about just “bad basketball?”
Yeah, that’ll work. Welcome to the Week in Worst, Jordan Crawford. You’re the cherry on this rotten sundae. Pretty fitting, I guess, considering we started with the nuts.
