Finally, the blue raspberry-flavored mouthpiece

Every sports-related press release has an author. That is, someone who is tasked with a given thing to tell the world -- a new line of big-and-tall orthotics endorsed by Joel Przybilla, an innovative new sports drink with more electrolytes than Powerade but just as much purple food coloring -- and then has to find a way to make it sound interesting while hitting all the necessary press release-y marks.

Do it right, or time it on a slowish news day, and you might get a tweet from Darren Rovell. The prospect of that -- some Rovellian sentence fragment and a very specific out-of-context dollar amount -- as an ultimate victory is maybe a little depressing. But this is the game.

And there is a right way to play it. There should be a quote. Data where possible, enthusiasm where no data exists. There must be a sense that this nugget of newsishness -- which has shown up in a great many email inboxes, unbidden, with nothing but its own dubiously valuable newsworthiness and a possible quote from Joel Przybilla about improved conditions in his achy arches -- is worth opening. Sometimes, this is impossible. Other times, your job is to write a press release about a new line of flavored mouthpieces -- at the risk of spoiler-alerting this whole thing, there is a blue raspberry one -- that have been endorsed by Stephen Curry. At times like that, your job is easy.

So tell the story. There is the news that Stephen Curry will wear a lemonade-flavored mouthpiece made by a company called MoGo Sport next season. The flavors of the mouthpieces -- mint and fruit punch and bubble gum and Arctic Blurt and orange and lemon and BluRasp -- are listed, as is their (quite reasonable) price. Also some data about wearing mouthpieces -- which really is a smart thing to do, safety-wise, even if you’re just writing a slow-news-day blog post about flavored mouthpieces -- and whatever comprises the rest.

And there is the quote: “As a professional athlete and father, I can appreciate a company like MoGo that is trying to make protective sports gear more enjoyable to wear,” Curry said. “One of the things I stress at events like my basketball camp is the importance of protecting yourself on the court. Regular mouthguards were always uncomfortable and rubber-tasting, but MoGo tastes great and keeps my mouth from getting dry.”

This is all anyone can ask, everything anyone could want. It’s all there. And then:

There it is.

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