Monday is the day you’re supposed to hit the gym. Gotta work off all those wings and pints of beer, right? Yeah, yeah, but you gotta work all day and then there’s FOOTBALL at night again! Well, we’ve got the solution: get fit WHILE you watch football. With the ultra-predictable “Monday Night Football” broadcast, it should be a breeze!
Monday Night Fitness is the Washington-Cowboys drinking game for your body
It’s that time again! We’ll whip you into shape WHILE you watch football.
Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports
Bill Hanstock is a writer, author and Emmy Award-winning producer. He began writing for SB Nation in 2011.
It’s real simple. Think of it like a drinking game, but with more sweating (or less, depending on your drinking regimen). Something on the list happens, you do the appropriate exercise. Got it? Get to it.
Here are your Monday Night Fitness assignments for Washington at Cowboys on Monday night:
| EVERY TIME: | DO THIS: |
| You see fans with sideline tickets watching the giant screen instead of the game | 20 crunches |
| Any mention of the TV show "Dallas" | 5 minute plank |
| Camera cuts to cast member of the TV show "Dallas" | Run a marathon |
| Jerry Jones is seen lurking in his suite like Emperor Palpatine | 20 lunges |
| ESPN shows aerial view of the stadium | 20 squats |
| "America's Team." | 25 squats |
| You hear "I WAS BOOORN FREEEE" | 20 crunches |
| ESPN shows Robert Griffin III on the sidelines | 20 jumping jacks |
| Announcers make a play on "Don't mess with Texas/everything's bigger in Texas" | 10 pushups |
| Any group of fans with team name spelled out across multiple chests | 2 laps around your block |
| ESPN shows any footage of stadium food | 15 pushups |
| ESPN cuts to a cute kid in the crowd | 10 second plank |
| Camera cuts to fan in full makeup and headdress | 15 squats |
| That stupid "fans singing" NFL app commercial comes on | 20 lunges |
| Cameras find a fan with a sign using the letters "ESPN" in a clever way | 20 bicep curls with a canned good |
| Despondent Jerry Jones | 15 second side plank |
| Exuberant Jerry Jones | 10 handstand pushups |
| Someone doing something for Jerry Jones that he could totally do himself | Finish watching on treadmill |
| Shows that weird ball-shaped tower in downtown Dallas | 20 crunches |
| Jon Gruden doesn't know what a common word means | 20 burpees |
We believe in you. Feel the burn.
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