Why you should care about WWE NXT TakeOver: R Evolution

If you weren’t aware, WWE has a sort of in-house “minor league” feeder system called NXT, where they train and groom wrestlers before calling them up to the “main roster.” If you further weren’t aware, the weekly NXT show on the WWE Network is easily the best thing about WWE and has been for some time. It’s the only weekly wrestling show you should be watching, honestly. On Thursday night, NXT will have their fourth live PPV-type major show. It’s going to be great. Really. There’s a WWE PPV on Sunday, but if you’re only able to watch one of them, you should definitely choose NXT.

The event begins at 8 p.m. ET exclusively on the WWE Network, which costs $9.99 a month and enables you to watch via mobile app, browser, smart TV, Roku, pretty much any current video game system or whatever else you might have going on. You can subscribe to the Network by clicking here. Before TakeOver begins, there will be a live pre-show starting at 7:30 p.m. ET. The pre-show will be hosted by Renee Young, Jason Albert and Alex Riley and will include NXT performer Corey Graves, who has a “special announcement” regarding his NXT future. (He will probably be retiring from in-ring competition.)

Here’s the full card for Thursday night’s NXT event and why this will be the best wrestling thing you will watch all week:

What am I looking at here? Hideo Itami is the artist formerly known worldwide as KENTA (yes, in all-caps). KENTA is one of the most hard-hitting and badass wrestlers in the world, even if he hasn’t fully settled into the “WWE style” of in-ring work yet. Here, go ahead and watch one of my favorite matches ever, KENTA vs. Low-Ki. If you don’t know KENTA, you at least know his moves: he originated the Go 2 Sleep, which CM Punk stole. He also used the omoplata crossface and the busaiku knee as finishers, both of which became Daniel Bryan’s signature moves. Finn Balor formerly wrestled all over the world as Prince Devitt or Fergal Devitt and -- in addition to being a completely righteous wrestler -- used to do amazing stuff like paint his body up to look like Venom or Carnage and then wrestle great matches. He’s PROBABLY going to be a huge deal in the WWE.

The Ascension, meanwhile, are Konnor and Viktor, two guys who have been in developmental pretty much forever. They’re good as a big bruiser tag team, but really need to get called up and injected into the WWE tag team division, because there’s not a whole lot left for them to do in NXT.

Why you should care: You’re going to get to see a truly world-class tag team get their chance to do something incredible on a grand stage for the first time in America. Odds are they’re not going to disappoint. Get in on the ground floor of Itami and Balor now, so you can brag about seeing their first big match in the U.S.

What am I looking at here? Kevin Owens is the man formerly known as Kevin Steen, one of the most beloved indie wrestling stars of his generation. All of his contemporaries -- Bryan Danielson, Tyler Black, Jon Moxley, Claudio Castagnoli, Chris Hero, El Generico, PAC, etc. etc. -- were signed by WWE before he was. Smartly, NXT is using that as his character motivation. He will fight anyone to prove he belongs. That’s really, really exciting. No idea whether he’s getting a short match to make him look like a million bucks or if he’s just going to come out and cut a promo, or maybe just pop in to beat the stuffing out of someone to set up an insta-fued, but he’s one of the reasons this event will be extremely exciting.

Why you should care: Kevin Owens is a fat, violent asshole. He’s a pissed-off Quebecois who wants to change your ideas of what a professional wrestler should look like or act like. And if WWE lets him package piledrive someone, get ready to lose your mind. Here, go ahead and have a ladder match between him and El Generico. You’re welcome.

What am I looking at here? Charlotte is literally the daughter of Ric Flair. She has a lot of his talent and charisma. She’s really good. Sasha Banks is her former bestie. Please don’t be one of those fans who chants “ratchet” at her. She’s the BOSS and deserves to be treated with respect.

Why you should care: This match may not be up to the usual calibre of great NXT women’s wrestling (because NXT has some of the best women’s wrestling in the world right now), but you’re still going to see a match that’s miles better than anything WWE or TNA television will put out.

What am I looking at here? The Lucha Dragons are Sin Cara and Kalisto, two high-flyers and reigning champs. This is the more workmanlike version of Sin Cara, not the more talented but perpetually-injured-and-cranky version you may be more familiar with. Kalisto is a pretty phenomenal acrobat and might amaze you if you haven’t seen him wrestle before.

Meanwhile, the Vaudevillains are Simon Gotch and Aiden English, two old-timey baddies who make silent films and look like this:

Why you should care: Did you see that picture up there? VAUDEVILLAINS, Y’ALL.

What am I looking at here? Adrian Neville is a short, unbelievably jacked dude whom gravity occasionally misplaces. He’s the premier high-flyer in the WWE right now. His finisher is a corkscrew shooting star press. That’s pretty much all you need to know. Sami Zayn is one of the best wrestlers in the world and has been for several years. He has all the tools and ability to become the next Daniel Bryan. Well, we can dream, anyway.

Why you should care: These two men and dear friends have gone up against one another time and again, but Sami Zayn has never been able to win the big one. He has promised that if he can’t win the title on Thursday, he’ll walk away from wrestling. They’ve torn the house down before and they’ve sworn that this will be “the match of their careers.” This is going to be the best wrestling you see this week, full stop.