1. Screws the cap back on the beer bottle when he’s not drinking it
Mike McCarthy things
Mike McCarthy is the head coach of the Green Bay Packers. Here are 18 things about him.
2. Sous-vides SweetTarts
3. Replies “ok. from, mike-mike” to emails that tell him his bank statement is ready
4. Walks on his knees whenever he goes to amusement parks so that nobody will make him go on any of the rides because he is too short
5. Uses Drano instead of Tide
6. Writes FOREMAN GRILL on his Foreman grill with puff paints
7. Starts a playoff game on the road by kicking consecutive field goals from inside the opponents’ 2-yard line, despite having a very good short-yardage running back and the best quarterback in the NFL
Bad decisions
8. Complains to the “Federal Breast Inspector” shirt company because he just wanted a shirt that said FBI
9. Wins paper airplane contests by wadding up paper and just throwing it
10. Loves pennies, wishes they were nine-foot metal planks
11. Boils steak in his toaster oven
12. Gasps when the man on TV says “for a limited time”
13. When a server says “enjoy your meal,” reflexively replies with, “I hope that you also enjoy the meal that you are eating, Mike”
14. Wears Windows Vista poncho indoors
15. Wears 3D goggles while watching Night Court
16. Prints map of Target, goes to Target
17. Slices his sandwich laterally so it just goes through the stuff in the sandwich and doesn’t do anything; frowns, but will do it again next time
18. Refrigerates his salt to see what will happen
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