Some people wear gloves to baseball games, hoping to catch a foul ball, hoping a piece of on-field equipment helps them on the off chance they’re lucky enough to have a baseball hit their way. But people bringing just one glove to a baseball game will surely fail. Because they are not as prepared as TWO GLOVES GUY:
TWO GLOVES GUY is America’s greatest baseball fan
Laugh at the man with two gloves, sure. But he’s ready to catch baseballs, whether they’re hit to his left or his right.
Did this guy really bring 2 gloves pic.twitter.com/WJGCahzImn
— Flexpedes (@MJK_NY31) October 18, 2015 Think about it:
1. If baseball players merely wanted to catch as many baseballs as possible, of course they’d wear two gloves. But they also have to throw the ball, so they leave one hand unsheathed. TWO GLOVES GUY knows he doesn’t have to throw the ball to anybody. He just has to catch it.
2. TWO GLOVES GUY keeps both of his hands warm inside a baseball glove in the 40-degree October air.
3. TWO GLOVES GUY can clap his gloves together like seals clap their fins to make a noise louder than human palms can ever make.
4. TWO GLOVES GUY can probably store three, maybe four hot dogs in each glove where puny human hands can only hold maybe two, tops. I don’t know how he’s going to eat them, to be honest.
5. TWO GLOVES GUY has devoted his entire baseball game experience to glove-having. Anything that requires fingers is out of the question. He’s sacrificed the ability to scratch his face or reach into his pockets. He’s definitely not spending the game staring at his smartphone, tweeting away. He only has one thing on his mind: catching baseballs, whether they’re hit on his left side or his right side. And in a way, that’s beautiful.
