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Baby in elf outfit is livid he has to compete in baby race during game

by Jake Whitacre

We’ve obtained an exclusive transcript of the angry baby’s thoughts:

NO MORE!

I DID NOT AGREE TO THIS COMPETITION. YOU DID NOT PAY ME TO PARTICIPATE. YOU ARE USING MY LIKENESS IN AN ADORABLE ELF OUTFIT FOR YOUR OWN AMUSEMENT.

YOU WANNA TRY TO MAKE ME LOOK CUTE FOR STRANGERS? WE’LL SEE HOW CUTE YOU THINK I AM WHEN I FINISH IN LAST! WE’LL SEE HOW CUTE I AM WHEN YOU GET MY COAL FOR CHRISTMAS.

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