Oh no, there’s trouble on the farm ... and we need your help! The farm is out of feed for its chickens, and it’s up to you to deliver a barrel of feed from the nearest town. One of you has a chance to save the day. Be the first farmer to make it back to the farm, and you’ll be the hero!
Jon is very disappointed in how you chose to play Jon’s Farming Simulator
Farming has always been make-believe ... until now! Let’s all get together and play a game of Jon’s Farming Simulator, a simulator about farming.
Monday, I surveyed y’all on how you wanted to calibrate your vehicle, and how much you knew about farming. I then selected four of you to play in this game, and customized each vehicle according to that person’s specifications.
You were allowed to set your thruster power as high as 10,000, but I cautioned you never to set it above 500. 500 is more than enough power to quickly and safely propel you back to the farm. You do not need any more power than that. Set the power any higher than that, and you are likely to lose control of your vehicle and/or cause bodily harm to your person. I was very clear about this.
Let’s see whether you listened.
THE RACE.
Music: “Captain Of Her Heart” by Double
THE RESULTS.
1st: Joe Garbe (green)
2nd: nobody
3rd: nobody
4th: nobody
DID NOT FINISH:
[Anonymous] (blue)
Jake Winderman (red)
David Lunch (yellow)
JON’S RACE ANALYSIS.
It should come as little surprise that the person who is actually a farmer in real life would be excellent at a farming simulation. Joe Garbe slowly, but steadily, propelled his way to the farm with nine thrusters: five in the rear, two on the left side, and two on the right side. They were set to a power rating of 450 -- which, as it turns out, is a perfectly safe and acceptable setting.
The other three farmers blatantly disregarded my warnings. Two of them upped their thruster power to 10,000, and the third set their power to precisely 6,969. That is profoundly juvenile, and does not offer proper respect toward the noble profession of farming.
I cannot help but feel disappointment. I wanted to make a fun farming simulator that everyone could enjoy.
I will run another of these simulations as soon as I can find it in my heart to trust all of you again.
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