Chaka Fattah, who has represented North and West Philadelphia in Congress’ second district since 1995, is on trial on federal racketeering charges, allegations that he ended up with a lot of money in some rather unethical ways. On Tuesday, Fattah appeared in court for the first time, repeatedly asserting his innocence.
Philly congressman dodges racketeering questions with 2-year-old Eagles banter
We have some better suggestions.
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He very, very, very clearly was not interested in talking to press about the matter, and when bombarded with questions, he thought he had found a slick way out:
He brushed off questions on his way into court, telling reporters, “I’m hoping the Eagles have a great season. And I’m concerned about that trade of DeSean Jackson.”
Fattah’s attempt at easy going small talk revealed he doesn’t really pay attention to the Eagles much: DeSean Jackson wasn’t traded this offseason. He signed as a free agent with Washington after the 2013 season. Perhaps he meant LeSean McCoy, who was traded to the Bills this year.
We can’t help Fattah beat his racketeering charges, but we can help him come up with more compelling topics of conversation to avert attention from his alleged crimes. Here are some August 2015 things that are sure to turn any group of Philadelphians into a bevy of bickering Eagles enthusiasts:
- “Does Chip Kelly know what he’s doing, or are we letting a lunatic run the asylum?”
- “Tim Tebow sure looks great in preseason -- I think he should make the team! Heck, I think he should START!”
- “Sam Bradford? Do we really think he can be better than Nick Foles?”
- “I bet DeMarco Murray is some type of secret Cowboys operative!”
And the winner:
- HEY I THINK CHIP KELLY IS RACIST
★★★
SB Nation presents: Chip Kelly has a plan and he’s not crazy
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