Personally, I know that I will never know whether Joe Flacco is elite. It is a question not meant to be answered, merely a quandary to be shown to the world.
The Baltimore Ravens really really really want you to know Joe Flacco is elite
“Is Joe Flacco elite?” is the world’s greatest question, and the Ravens HAVE AN ANSWER.
I know that I will die without anybody answering whether Joe Flacco was elite; so will my children and my children’s children and their children’s children. I know that I will never know, and from this, I find peace. I find beauty in the unanswerable, solace in the knowledge that the universe is vast and unsolvable.
The Baltimore Ravens, however, don’t view “is Joe Flacco elite” as an unanswerable mystery. They fancy they know that Joe Flacco is elite. And they use their website as an instrument to alert the world whenever Joe Flacco’s eliteness is on display.
Jan. 14, 2013: “Joe Flacco not elite? ‘You’re crazy.’”
June 5, 2013: “Pres. Obama to Joe Flacco: ‘You’re elite.’”
Dec. 12, 2014: “Joe Flacco sending ‘elite’ subliminal message?”
Jan. 3, 2015: “Joe Flacco ‘The best quarterback in football’”
(We are counting this as an assertion of eliteness.)
Jan. 3, 2015: “Joe Flacco leaves elite tip in Pittsburgh”
(To be fair, we had the same headline.)
Jan. 5, 2015: “Why isn’t Flacco considered elite?”
Jan. 8, 2015: “Is Joe Flacco an elite QB?”
(The answer was yes.)
Feb. 18, 2015: “Is Joe Flacco elite? Gary Kubiak’s awesome answer.”
May 28, 2015: “Why Joe Flacco will break into elite QB club under Marc Trestman”
WAIT I THOUGHT HE’D BEEN IN THE CLUB THIS WHOLE TIME
July 24, 2015: “Torrey Smith’s brilliant response to Joe Flacco elite question”
Aug. 20, 2015: “Eagles head coach Chip Kelly calls Joe Flacco elite”
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